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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25663669">an ode: the collection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooniesgukkie/pseuds/jooniesgukkie'>jooniesgukkie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble Collection, Drama, Ficlet Collection, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu-centric, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, One Shot Collection, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Break Up, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25663669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jooniesgukkie/pseuds/jooniesgukkie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>an ode to brief moments in romance that wound the human heart. </p><p>or:; a collection of mingyu x wonwoo drabbles which are all about pining, angst, and maybe fluff.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. beautiful goodbyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello, this is my first time writing for a new fandom --- hello, carats! i have chosen to write about mingyu and wonwoo because i love the chemistry between the two of them (and my bias is mingyu---ssh). this drabble collection is completely self-indulgent and a way to battle my writer’s block. i hope you enjoy this. :)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>inspired by kdrama moments where the second-leads confess to the main leads about their unrequited feelings. i always find these moments heart-wrenching. i hope you do too.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>wonwoo lets his feet dangle off the window ledge. it’s a good thirty floors from the ground but he does not mind. the view from here is priceless. seoul’s skyline is foggy down below but up here, he can watch the sun sinking slowly in the east. </p><p>perched next to him is mingyu, another priceless view. six-foot-something mingyu with the olive skin and snaggle-toothed grin. gentle mingyu who always forgets he’s a full-grown adult and not a puppy that needs constant affection. his mingyu that makes his heart thump wildly in his chest and makes the butterflies erupt from the bottom of his stomach. </p><p>wonwoo’s mingyu that is not exactly his mingyu. </p><p>mingyu is not some ragdoll to be tossed around per se, wonwoo just yearns for them to belong to each other. much like aristophanes’ take on soulmates. he just wants mingyu to be his other half and for mingyu’s to be him. </p><p>hell, wonwoo would be mingyu’s in a heartbeat if the younger allowed it. however, it’s exhausting to dwell on a plethora of ‘what-ifs’. wonwoo is well aware that mingyu is nothing but a wonderwall. mingyu already has his other half and wonwoo is not blind. </p><p>“it is such a treat to be able to see something like this. don’t you think, hyung?” mingyu motions towards the sunset painting the sky in an eclectic mix of oranges and pinks. </p><p>“yeah.” wonwoo hums. “it’s beautiful.”</p><p>they fall again in comfortable silence. </p><p>silences are never awkward between wonwoo and mingyu. for one, wonwoo has never been a huge conversationalist. mingyu might be a chatterbox, a bouncing ball of energy but it’s different with wonwoo. he finds solace in wonwoo’s quiet demeanor. they could spend hours alone together in relative silence--- just two people basking in each other’s presence. </p><p>wonwoo discreetly studies mingyu, stealing a proper glance whilst the younger is distracted by the scene unfolding in front of him. there is something tranquil in mingyu’s expression and it’s making wonwoo’s heart swell in affection. </p><p>the fond feeling roaring in his chest feels airy but at the same time, heavy. the horrible loneliness claws inside him. he never thought falling in love with mingyu can be an isolating experience. </p><p>mingyu already has his other half and wonwoo is not blind. he is always painfully reminded of his place when he sees them. it is exhausting to keep the blind hope and at the same time keep himself from crossing the line. </p><p>he can’t do it anymore. he has to set himself free and let mingyu be happy with someone else. he has to admit his own defeat. </p><p>“gyu, do you think goodbyes can be beautiful too?” wonwoo asks. </p><p>“no, i don’t think so.” mingyu turns to him, nose scrunched in mild confusion. “goodbyes are meant to be sad. how can something bitter be beautiful?” </p><p>wonwoo shifts his position to face mingyu properly. he draws his knees closer to his chest and wraps his arms around it.</p><p>“just look at the sunset. it’s a beautiful goodbye.” wonwoo says quietly. </p><p>“you hang out with jihoon-hyung way too much. he is rubbing off on you.” mingyu says playfully. </p><p>wonwoo leans forward and punches mingyu’s arm weakly earning him a whine from the younger one. mingyu sidles closer to him, resting an arm on his leg. wonwoo tries his very best to ignore mingyu’s heavy presence. </p><p>“farewells can be beautiful too. you know, it might be bittersweet but at least, a beautiful goodbye leaves you with hope that better things are coming. just like sunsets telling us there will be an equally beautiful sunrise tomorrow.” wonwoo elaborates. </p><p>“you are starting to sound ominous, wonwoo.” mingyu says. </p><p>wonwoo tears his gaze away from mingyu and sucks in a sharp breath. tension begins to thicken. the heavy silence weighing down on both of them. </p><p>it’s now or never. </p><p>“there is something i have to tell you, gyu…” wonwoo pauses for a bit to gather his remaining bits of courage. “i like you. not in a way that i am just simply fond of you---- i-it’s something deeper.” </p><p>wonwoo almost expects mingyu to deliver an aggressive response. to draw his hands away from wonwoo and become disgusted by the sudden revelation. to lash out on wonwoo, accusing him of messing things up when he is happy and content in the arms of another. he anticipates all of it but it never comes. instead, he finds mingyu’s sullen expression meeting his. </p><p>“i know, wonwoo.” </p><p>it’s wonwoo in the end who becomes shocked. a million thoughts race through his head. he cannot fully comprehend the bomb mingyu dropped. </p><p>“why didn’t you say anything?” wonwoo manages to ask, voice quivering. </p><p>mingyu slumps his shoulders. “i don’t know what to say, hyung. i did not want to break your heart. acting like i didn’t know is much better than outright rejecting you. even if i cannot reciprocate your feelings, i do not want things to change between us.” </p><p>tears begin to well up in wonwoo’s eyes. “you’re so unfair.” he cries out. </p><p>mingyu reaches out to wipe wonwoo’s tears with the pad of his thumb. wonwoo’s disgusted of himself, by the way his heart traitorously flutters by mingyu’s gesture. </p><p>“don’t let me steal your thunder, hyung. i want to hear your beautiful farewell.” mingyu says to him. </p><p>wonwoo wonders how mingyu could be so nice even in times like these when he could just be an asshole if warranted. wonwoo regains his composure and inhales deeply. </p><p>“now that we have it out in the open, i am setting us both free, mingyu.” wonwoo says. “as much as i want you to myself, i cannot do that. i have to learn how to find my happiness in other places. if i continue to hold on to you, i might not be able to move forward. i cannot allow my feelings for you, tie me down.” </p><p>“i am so sorry, hyung. i didn’t know how h--” </p><p>“don’t.” wonwoo cuts him off. “don’t be sorry for something that is beyond your control. don’t pity me just because of that. i can handle my own feelings well. do me a favor, mingyu. let me be and allow me to still love you deeply if it is the way for me to grow tired of you. you don’t have to feel sorry for me.” </p><p>mingyu does not say a word and instead he wraps wonwoo in a tight embrace. “can i at least do this, for you? i can’t be of much help but you still matter to me. i love you hyung, even if it’s not the kind of love you want.” he mutters onto wonwoo’s shoulders. </p><p>wonwoo allows himself to melt underneath mingyu’s grasp. “thank you, mingyu. you are one of the best things to happen to me. it’s an honor to love you.”</p><p>“it’s also an honor to be loved by you.” mingyu adds, a soft smile on his face. </p><p>when wonwoo pulls away, he does not feel as awful as he did before. it is like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. he hops down the windowsill, mingyu following suit. </p><p>“goodbye, mingyu.” he says to mingyu. </p><p>“goodbye, wonwoo.” mingyu repeats. </p><p>wonwoo smiles at him for the last time before turning his back on mingyu and begins to walk away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tmi no. 1: i am fairly new to the seventeen fandom and like what my friend would say, dicks out for all of them.<br/>tmi no. 2: i will also accept requests just comment them down below or you can reach me on my stan twt @jinthe_alpaca.<br/>tmi no. 3: i don’t have a clear schedule regarding updates but i will try to do this quite often. </p><p>what do you think about this chapter? </p><p>you can share your thoughts about my work by leaving down comments. i’d be so happy to discuss with you. or else, please leave kudos to give some love. if you have the time please check out my other works too. </p><p>thank you very much! stay safe always. :3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. love at first sight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>for the first time in two years, mingyu meets wonwoo, his ex-boyfriend again. how would it go?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>additional tag: a/b/o verse. it’s just a minor thing i added to give this drabble a little more structure. implied mpreg in this chapter too. if you are uneasy with it, i suggest you skip this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>mingyu was absentmindedly flipping through a catalogue when the faint scent of wisteria hit his nose. there are a few people in the waiting lounge but mingyu has already attuned himself to block the other scents from assaulting his sense of smell. none of them smelled of flowers too. it can’t be the bouquet of daisies resting on his lap, either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>so, he chooses to ignore the thoughts racing in his head and goes back to read the catalogue. losing interest, he grabs his phone from his pocket and checks it. no new notifications. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>a few minutes pass and once again, his nose picks up the scent of wisteria growing stronger. he knows the scent all too well. he can recognize it from miles away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>curiosity getting the best of him, he gets up on his feet and follows the scent down the hallways. much to his chagrin, the sight that unfolds before him causes a heavy pang in his chest. the all too familiar rich baritone laughter rings in his ears. it leaves mingyu frozen in his tracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s wonwoo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his ex-boyfriend and first true heartbreak, jeon wonwoo conversing animatedly with xu minghao. it completely slipped from mingyu’s mind that minghao is also part of snu’s performance arts faculty. his brain is going haywire. this is the first time he sees wonwoo in almost two years since they fell apart and the ultimate fact, that the wonwoo in front of him is bouncing a toddler on his hips. </span>
</p><p>since when did wonwoo surround himself with children? </p><p>
  <span>mingyu tries to get closer to them without being noticed by hiding behind a pillar that barely conceals him. now having a better vantage point, he observes wonwoo and the child he is carrying with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo still looks pretty much the same since the last time mingyu saw him two years ago. his hair is now reverted back to black. he’s wearing a beige cardigan and gold specs are adorning his eyes. he’s still so beautiful and makes mingyu’s stomach flip with warmth. </span>
</p><p>it’s just that the kid in question is so distracting. he watches as wonwoo peppers kisses on the child’s cheeks with the fondest look on his face. it’s almost like the child hung the stars for wonwoo. it is weird to see wonwoo being affectionate with children when two years ago the omega was so adamant to succumb to his true nature. </p><p>
  <span>for a moment, the toddler cranes her head towards mingyu’s direction and he swears he felt like air has been knocked out of his lungs. for some reason, she looks oddly familiar but he cannot place the feeling right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he is beginning to grow confused. watching wonwoo and the child seemed to spark a dormant feeling of yearning deep inside of him. the alpha in mingyu is overcome with the overpowering feeling to go near wonwoo and protect him. keep wonwoo and the child safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yeon-ah, are you being a good girl to your appa?” mingyu hears minghao coo to the child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>appa? did he hear it right? mingyu is now bewildered after learning that the child in wonwoo’s grasp is in fact his daughter. it makes so much sense, she does look a lot like wonwoo but it does not mean it makes mingyu less unnerved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>a million thoughts are racing in mingyu’s head. he needs answers. how could wonwoo have moved on so easily? why does it hurt to see wonwoo so much even though mingyu is certain he’s gotten over it? old wounds start to reopen as mingyu is reminded of his and wonwoo’s less than amicable ending. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>truth be told, he loved wonwoo so much. a part of him still does. wonwoo is irreplaceable but things were far too damaged to be patched up once again. he had to let wonwoo go before it ended up resenting each other so much to the point of no return. plus, he has someone else now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu’s cover is blown when his phone goes off loudly in his pockets, the shrill tone resounding through the almost empty hallway. this catches wonwoo and minghao’s attention making them whip their heads to the source of the unwelcomed noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“mingyu?” shit, he’s discovered. three pairs of eyes land on him with a mix of confusion and surprise painted in their faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>in a last ditch attempt to save himself from humiliation, he picks up the call and tries to act smoothly. “guk, hello.” he mutters to his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“where are--- wait, nevermind. i see you.” jeongguk ends the call hastily. mingyu slowly draws the phone from his ears and relaxes himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“oh, hello. minghao.” he walks over and greets them coolly with an awkward wave. “wonwoo.” he winces as his greeting towards his ex comes out a little strained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“nice to see you again, mingyu.” the omega says to him. mingyu almost expects wonwoo to be hostile but he’s relieved there seems to be none of that. there’s just a bit of wariness to his tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“mingyu, babe!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu’s boyfriend, jeongguk calls out to him. he’s now walking towards mingyu with a huge grin plastered on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“visiting your boyfriend, i see.” minghao comments offhandedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yeah.” mingyu replies reluctantly but his eyes flit over wonwoo, hoping to see a reaction but his expression is unreadable. the kid balanced on his hip still babbling nonsense onto his ear. </span>
</p><p>jeongguk finally catches up to him and snakes an arm around his waist. it catches mingyu off-guard. “i’ve been looking for you. sooyoung says you just got up and wandered away.” he mumbles to him. </p><p>
  <span>“oh, uh, i-i’ve been looking for the restroom.” real smooth, mingyu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>jeongguk seems to gobble up mingyu’s lame excuse. wonwoo’s daughter seems to have caught his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i did not know you and minghao knew each other.” he turns to mingyu with a knowing look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu awkwardly rubs his nape. “yeah, uh. he’s my roommate in college and wonwoo here. he’s an…” what is the proper word to say? “old friend of mine.” safe choice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu sees wonwoo’s smile falter slightly while minghao begins to initiate small talk. after a while, jeongguk seems completely enamored by the toddler. mingyu remembers that his boyfriend has a soft spot for children. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“is she your daughter?” jeongguk asks wonwoo directly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes. her name’s jiyeon.” wonwoo says fondly, playing with his daughter’s arms. the confirmation makes mingyu’s stomach flip for some reason. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>jiyeon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, such a beautiful name for a beautiful child. mingyu thinks to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“she’s an angel. can i hold her?” jeongguk asks for permission. wonwoo obliges without any whim and hands his daughter to jeongguk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>watching jeongguk carry jiyeon in his arms does not have the same effect as wonwoo did. it’s an unusual thought when jeongguk is his boyfriend right now and probably the one he would spend his future with. seeing wonwoo again stirs so many emotions mingyu did not expect to even exist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“gyu, baby.” jeongguk snaps him out of his daze. he’s blowing raspberries on the toddler’s neck. “jiyeon reminds me of you when you’re being clingy and when you’re sick. you’re both like adorable puppies.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu almost chokes on his own spit. he barely manages to play it off as a nervous laugh. jeongguk’s words were meant to be a meaningless compliment but somehow, it hits differently to mingyu like some truth is thinly unveiled in there somehow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>jeongguk moves closer to mingyu with a gurgling jiyeon in tow. burrowing her face in jeongguk’s shoulder, jiyeon looks up at mingyu from with the widest set of eyes as if she’s studying him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo hovers closely, watching mingyu and jeongguk interact with his daughter. mingyu’s heart does backflips when jiyeon stops looking afraid of him but instead, she breaks out into a mirthful giggle. her voice sounds like music to mingyu’s ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>their impromptu meeting ends when jiyeon began to grow irritable. jeongguk had no choice but to reluctantly return jiyeon back to her father’s arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i guess it’s our cue to leave. she’s already tired.” wonwoo says to them, clutching a whimpering jiyeon close to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu tries his best not to feel jealous when minghao takes the bag from wonwoo’s shoulders and carries it for him. “c’mon, i’ll drive you two home.” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>a small part of mingyu wonders who jiyeon’s other father might be. it’s clearly not minghao, he’s already mated to someone else. he also wonders if wonwoo and jiyeon are alright. if there is a capable alpha that is looking after them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“it’s nice meeting the both of  you, wonwoo-ssi.” jeongguk says to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“goodbye, jeongguk-ssi. it was also nice getting to know you.” wonwoo says. he turns to mingyu and offers him a stilted smile. “it’s nice seeing you again too, gyu.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>sadness weighs in mingyu’s insides as he watches wonwoo and jiyeon’s retreating figure gradually disappear. it feels like wonwoo is leaving again for the second time taking a chunk of mingyu with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“are those for me?” jeongguk points out the bouquet of daisies in mingyu’s hands which are slightly crushed by now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yeah, i forgot to give them to you earlier.” he gives the flowers to jeongguk whose eyes are glistening in excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“thank you, gyu. they’re nice.” jeongguk holds the flowers close to his nose to get a good whiff of the daisies. he stands on the tip of his toes and presses a peck on mingyu’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>this gesture used to make mingyu’s heart flutter all the way to the ceiling but right now, it has lost its magic. even when jeongguk takes his hand and intertwines it with his, it does not feel the same anymore. is it possible to lose interest with a person this quickly? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>a spontaneous shift has occurred deep inside mingyu. he has never felt so at loss in his life until now. he realized that a huge part of him has been carved out and he longs to fill that how. somehow, he’s sure that jeongguk is no longer the answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his heart and mind drifts to a certain omega who once owned his heart  and a child that has managed to steal his affection within a snap. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>mingyu is not jiyeon’s other father. </p><p>so, how did you find this chapter? let me know by leaving down comments below or else, leave some love by giving kudos. requests are also open! just comment down below or talk to me thru twt on @jinthe_alpaca.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>major psa: tmi no. 1 is false. there is no way in hell mingyu is not jiyeon’s other appa. i hope i made it obvious. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. you can't hold my heart no more</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wonwoo and mingyu’s marriage has fallen apart, only a piece of paper barely keeping them together. mingyu is trying to mend things but wonwoo does not budge. until one night, wonwoo’s resolve crumbles just this once.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from monsta x’s you can’t hold my heart. it’s a good song if you haven’t checked it out. also, an attempt at full angst ahead!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>wonwoo and mingyu’s wedding photo hanging on the hallway is the first thing wonwoo notices when gets home. it’s been there for almost five years already. he and mingyu, in their complementing ivory and ebony themed suits, arm in arm with blinding smiles painted on both their faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo remembers their wedding to be a solemn but also undoubtedly, a beautiful affair. just the important family members and a few close friends to celebrate the wedding with. it’s nothing grand, to be honest but for wonwoo, it was more than perfect--- or so he thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the nostalgia from seeing the photo triggers the bitter feeling wonwoo has been avoiding for quite some time now. he should really consider taking it down to put in the storage, throw it away, or burn it down--- whichever feels convenient. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>sighing, he toes off his shoes to the side. a nice long bath should make him feel better. the bath bombs soonyoung gave him from his recent trip in paris deserve to be put to good use tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo is reclining on his chaise lounge in his study rereading murakami. he needs to wind down a little before getting back on track with checking essays later on. his small peace is interrupted when he hears a firm knock on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hey, wonwoo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo looks up and finds his husband’s head peeking from the door with a huge smile on his face. he lets out a noncommittal hum to recognize mingyu’s presence and continues to get on with reading the wind-up bird chronicle. mingyu lets himself in and hovers in front of wonwoo with his hands behind his body. wonwoo continues to pretend that he’s unbothered by mingyu’s uninvited intrusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu clears his throat, “i got my art director promotion today. i’ll begin with my new position next week when myungho, my predecessor leaves officially.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“congrats, then.” wonwoo says flatly not even bothering to look at mingyu. he can feel the excitement thrumming from mingyu. he’s slightly happy with the news, don’t get him wrong, but he can’t bring himself to feel festive with mingyu anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“well, that’s not mainly the reason i came here though.” mingyu says, a little hopeful. “do you want to have dinner with me? i cooked a small feast so that we could celebrate together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i can’t.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, i don’t want to</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wonwoo really wants to tell him. good thing he has a proper alibi to back him up.  “i appreciate the offer but i already ate with jisoo and jeonghan earlier.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“oh, okay.” he does not miss the way mingyu visibly deflates after wonwoo turned him down. the enthusiastic smile is wiped away from his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if you want, i can pack you some for lunch tomorrow.” mingyu offers, trying to alleviate the awkwardness and tension between the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i can’t either.” wonwoo shoots him down again. “just take them tomorrow and share it with your colleagues. i will be joining the dean for a conference out of town.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“oh.” mingyu says, trying to conceal the disappointment in his expression. “i-i’ll go now. good night, wonwoo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo watches as mingyu turns his back, shoulders slumped from dejection. mingyu closes the door with a soft click. wonwoo sets the book down and rubs his temples. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo wonders if his husband will ever stop persisting on setting things right with him. on wonwoo’s end, he’s painfully aware that at this point, mingyu is fighting for a lost cause. it’s both sad and amusing to bet on how much longer mingyu can keep this up. it can come soon, though. after all, this act should kick the bucket one way or another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s almost midnight and wonwoo is still buried in the swamp of papers he has to grade. in the first couple of hours, it was still amusing to go through his students’ take on plato’s symposium but at this point it’s already burdensome. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>fuck, he needs caffeine in his system right now. he gets up from his desk and shuffles towards the kitchen. to his surprise, the television in the living room is still on but the volume is turned all the way down that only the indistinct chattering can be heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his eyes land on the couch where mingyu is unnaturally curled up, limbs slightly too long for the furniture. a force inside wonwoo compels to go closer and kneel in front of his husband’s slumbering figure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>two years ago, wonwoo discovered that mingyu has been cheating on him, on the day of their marriage anniversary. what hurt wonwoo even more that mingyu was still seeing the guy he dated before they were together. it wasn’t just a one time thing--- it went on for months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo really wanted to divorce mingyu during that time but circumstances were against him. legal separations come at a hefty price and wonwoo doesn’t make much as a literature professor. he can even barely keep up with bills and mortgage. a divorce would make him homeless on the streets. he cannot be heartbroken and at the same time, bankrupt. there is only so much wonwoo is willing to give up. </span>
</p><p>so it’s safe to say it’s cheaper to keep kim mingyu for now. living with his husband has now turned into sharing a house with an estranged roommate. wonwoo’s also trying to keep some funds aside so that he can divorce mingyu and completely detach himself from him. </p><p>
  <span>on the other hand, for the past year and a half, mingyu has been exerting all his effort on patching things up with his husband. wonwoo knows that mingyu loves him deeply. why would he go to all these lengths, making a huge fool out of himself even if wonwoo is amazing at acting cold and indifferent towards him? </span>
</p><p>wonwoo is not blind to how much mingyu has changed and improved. it’s just that even if mingyu spends the rest of his life apologizing and repenting it will never be enough to fill the hole he has carved out in wonwoo’s heart. </p><p>the blue light emitted by the television illuminates mingyu’s face. his brows are creased even though he’s asleep. without much thought, wonwoo cards his fingers gently on mingyu’s fringe which cause mingyu to visibly relax. he also wipes away with the pad of his fingers the fresh track of tears that stain mingyu’s cheeks. </p><p>
  <span>wonwoo misses moments like these. he misses the times when he can still be openly affectionate with mingyu; melt in his embrace, pepper him with kisses, and just bask in each other’s presence in general. so much has changed in the span of two years and it’s terrifying how unrecognizable the two of them have become. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo still cares for him. he really does but you cannot simply erase a huge mistake just like that. it’s hard to look at mingyu without being reminded by the pain and betrayal he committed against wonwoo. the anger has dissipated by now but mingyu is not yet forgiven. he won’t be for god knows how long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“w-wonwoo, w-won i love you. i am s-so sorry.” mingyu mumbles in his sleep. a fresh batch of tears stream down his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>for the first time, wonwoo’s heart aches for mingyu. it’s not anger bubbling in his chest but sadness. he pities mingyu. he can hate mingyu with every shred of his being but he cannot deny he still loves him too. </span>
</p><p>would it be worth it to give mingyu a chance? </p><p>
  <span>wonwoo does not know. he cannot answer it right now but he guesses, he can bend his principles just for one night. mingyu needs it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>sighing, he gets up and retrieves a blanket from their bedroom. wonwoo no longer sleeps there, opting to take shelter in his study but he’s surprised to see that mingyu still kept the room the way it is. instead of filling up the empty spaces, he still left them out like he is still hoping wonwoo would go up and fill it again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo takes the blanket and drapes it across mingyu’s body. he even squeezes a pillow under his husband’s head. before he leaves, he presses a soft kiss atop mingyu’s head and after a long deliberation, another one on mingyu’s lips. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if this was a full fic, do you think wonwoo would give mingyu another chance? </p><p>fun fact: if you noticed, the book wonwoo was reading is murakami's the wind-up bird chronicle. i put it there to be, somewhat, a small reference to the story where the protagonist's marriage also goes through a rough patch after his wife left him all of a sudden. he learns she was cheating on him but then things get murakami complicated but still insisted on waiting for her in the end. i just thought it would be cool to add something tiny like that.  </p><p>anyway, what do you think about this chapter? please let me know by leaving kudos and comments down below. see you again next update!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. on meanings & nothings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>prompt request: Can I have an angsty jealous wonu plssssss ♥️♥️♥️ but make it with happy ending and non-au. Thank you!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i tried my best.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>in the midst of comeback preparations and a plethora of campaign photoshoots, wonwoo finds it a little difficult to make time with mingyu and do normal not-a-couple-but-couple-like stuff. thankfully, today’s practice ended earlier than usual so wonwoo gathers the remaining bits of his energy and climbs on the other’s bed to at least laze around with mingyu.</p><p>so, here they are, in the massive king-size mattress, mingyu leaning on the headboard and carding his fingers through wonwoo’s hair while wonwoo uses mingyu’s chest as a pillow for his head. </p><p>“wonwoo.”</p><p>“hm?” </p><p>“do you remember hyejin?” mingyu asks. </p><p>wonwoo perks up at the sudden mention of hyejin. there is no way in the world he would forget about the girl who broke mingyu’s heart in exchange for a rich chaebol six years her senior. </p><p>“yeah, why?” wonwoo says, intrigued. he shifts from laying down to sitting up so that he could properly hold this conversation with mingyu. </p><p>“she’s back in seoul and she might drop by to visit me anytime.” mingyu pauses for a bit as if he’s choosing carefully what to say next. “she wants us to be friends again.” wonwoo does not miss the mild excitement in mingyu’s tone. </p><p>wonwoo is trying to comprehend the reason why after years of radio silence, she decides to pop up in mingyu’s life all of a sudden to be reacquainted with him. the matter is concerning but wonwoo does not voice it out. </p><p>“would that be okay with you?” mingyu asks expectantly. </p><p>“look, it’s not like we are anything.” it sounds a little painful but wonwoo sees no wrong in saying the truth. whatever this thing is with mingyu, he is in no place to impose himself. “you can do whatever you want, gyu.” </p><p>mingyu does not reply but instead, he presses his lips on wonwoo’s and they no longer talk about hyejin after that awkward exchange. wonwoo takes it as gesture of reassurance from mingyu and ignores the ominous feeling brewing in his chest. </p><p> </p><p>a couple of days later, everyone is busy wrapping up to head home after the first of their series of comeback showcases. wonwoo is playing on his phone while mingyu is laying on his lap as they wait for vernon to finish changing so that they could leave the venue first together. </p><p>one of the managers approaches them and announces, “mingyu, you have a guest waiting for you.” </p><p>mingyu perks up and asks, “who is it?” </p><p>“ko hyejin, she’s right over there.” the manager motions to the woman standing near the doorway. she flashes a small wave towards mingyu. </p><p>wonwoo recognizes her face from the earlier pictures mingyu has of her before they debuted. she’s elegantly dressed now in a long pink dress with her short bob sleekly parted in the middle. </p><p>“oh, okay. i’ll be right back, hyung.” mingyu says to him before he gets up to go towards hyejin. </p><p>from where he is, wonwoo watches as she pulls mingyu into a quick hug. it’s a little bit awkward but he does not miss the way mingyu’s eyes sparkle as he converses with her. wonwoo can feel a sinking feeling in his chest but he pushes it away by distracting himself, half-listening to chan’s never ending rant and half-wallowing in unfounded dread. </p><p>“wonwoo.”</p><p>wonwoo snaps out of his daze and sees mingyu in front of him. “oh, do we leave already?” he asks him. </p><p>“about that…” mingyu rubs his nape. “can we cancel hanging out tonight? well, hyejin invited me to dinner…”</p><p>“you should go.” wonwoo cuts him off. what can he do? that is mingyu’s ex for god’s sake. he’s just the guy mingyu sleeps with at least thrice a week. he’s not that high on mingyu’s list of priorities. </p><p>“thank you, wonwoo.” mingyu smiles widely. “this is just a one-time thing, i promise. i’ll make it up to you.” </p><p>once mingyu leaves, chan sidles closer to wonwoo. “hyung, the woman that mingyu-hyung left with, was it you-know-who?” chan’s eyes widen comically to emphasize his point. </p><p>wonwoo might have laughed at the youngest’s antics if he isn’t so absorbed with bitterness just by watching hyejin link her arms with mingyu’s on their way out. vernon must have sensed his hyung’s distress since he roughly drags chan away from wonwoo. </p><p>“hyung, chan; c’mon, let’s go home.” wonwoo sighs in relief. vernon’s impeccable timing saved him from answering chan, which he didn't want to do at the moment. hyejin means nothing but impending trouble for him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kim mingyu<br/></b>
</p><p><b>Yesterday </b>08:45 AM </p><p>hey u down to hang out?<br/>Delivered </p><p>out of annoyance, wonwoo chucks his phone onto his bed haphazardly. he barely sees mingyu outside their schedules. one canceled meeting turns into two up until wonwoo gave up on asking mingyu entirely. phone conversations have gone from scarce to stilted, and now mingyu has ghosted him since yesterday. </p><p>it’s starting to claw wonwoo on the inside. he doesn’t know if mingyu is doing it on purpose but he has no one to blame than ko hyejin. of course, mingyu is spending every drop of his free time with her lately and he looks quite happy being able to rekindle with her. </p><p>wonwoo realizes that in the end, he is the collateral. the more mingyu gets closer to hyejin, the more distant they will be with each other. well, mingyu still interacts with him in front of the cameras but it feels scripted. the lack of sincerity makes wonwoo loathe every second of it. </p><p>later that day, wonwoo sees mingyu again. they’re doing unit promotions on a handful of radio shows. mingyu acts like he hasn’t been outright ignoring wonwoo these past few days and it’s getting on his nerves. </p><p>seungcheol would send a stern look along his way if he refuses to talk or does something awkward when it’s his turn. wonwoo just shrugs him off and goes on to remain silent for the rest of the interviews.</p><p>to add insult to the injury, hyejin makes an appearance at the radio stations carrying bags of iced coffee for all of them. of course, isn’t there a day when mingyu and hyejin would go without seeing each other? </p><p>“hey, are you alright? you seem out of it earlier.” seungcheol approaches him. he hands wonwoo a cup of coffee, courtesy of hyejin. he intentionally did not take a cup for himself. his pride cannot digest the fact he’s drinking coffee bought by his illicit lover’s ex. </p><p>“just a little peachy.” wonwoo replies. “must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today.” more like, i did not get to wake up beside mingyu today because he’s busy rekindling the romance with his ex.</p><p>“alright, just patch it up with your boyfriend soon okay? people will take notice if you continue being sulky, wonwoo.” seungcheol admonishes him. of course, their leader has developed a sixth sense when things go amiss within his members. </p><p>“mingyu’s not my boyfriend.” wonwoo retorts. </p><p>“what are you to each other, then?” seungcheol asks in a challenging tone. wonwoo tries to rack up another smart retort but he comes up with nothing. he and mingyu are nothing but deep down, wonwoo wants them to be anything but nothing. </p><p>on the corner of his vision, he spots mingyu erupting into a fit of laughter. hyejin must have said something stupid to make him crack-up like that. this leaves a bitter taste in wonwoo’s mouth. he can’t even remember the last time he heard mingyu laugh just like that.</p><p>five minutes later, when he’s sure nobody’s looking, he dumps the contents of the coffee onto a trash bin. screw kim mingyu and ko hyejin. wonwoo could not care less about the two of them. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“wonwoo, take the trash bags down to the parking lot and wait for me in the van. i’ll finish up mopping the floor soon.” </p><p>“alright, hyung.” wonwoo dutifully follows joshua’s instructions. he ties the trash bags and slings his duffle bag over his shoulders. </p><p>after emerging as the two losers of playing rock paper and scissors, wonwoo and joshua take on the penalty of tidying up the practice rooms. it’s particularly an easy task but joshua says he saw jeonghan intentionally spill his energy drink just to spite him, making them clean ten minutes longer than usual. </p><p>“i’m heading out now, hyung.” </p><p>“okay.”</p><p>wonwoo hums the song jihoon has been working on these past few days as he makes his way to the elevator. at the end of the hallway, he spots two familiar figures deep in conversation. </p><p>it’s mingyu, wearing the navy cardigan wonwoo gifted him for his birthday last year with none other than ko hyejin. practice ended almost an hour ago and yet, mingyu is still here doing god knows what with hyejin. wonwoo swears the world is really out to get him. </p><p>hyejin takes a step closer to mingyu, faces merely centimeters apart from each other. from where he stands, he can see everything clearly from the way mingyu wraps an arm across hyejin’s back to the glimmer of passion burning in hyejin’s eyes. they might be moments away from kissing and wonwoo is frozen in his place. </p><p>it hurts so much and it’s spreading to his body like wildfire. he’s watching mingyu do something so intimate with someone who isn’t him. he’s watching mingyu look at someone with so much longing but it isn’t him. the realization that mingyu never looked at him like that dawns on wonwoo heavily. </p><p>“wonwoo?” joshua calls out to him, pulling him from his trance. “why are you still here?” </p><p>dropping the bags on the floor, he runs as fast as he can towards the elevator. he hears mingyu calling after him but he needs to get away. he can’t do this right now. he presses the down button furiously but mingyu is quick to jam his foot on the door and join him inside. </p><p>“wonwoo, please. it’s not what you think it is.” mingyu tries to reach out to him but wonwoo swats his hands away. </p><p>“don’t touch me.” wonwoo grits out, backing away from mingyu until he hits the wall. </p><p>“let me explain.” mingyu pleads. wonwoo can’t even bear himself to look at him right now when mingyu reminds him of nothing but hurt. </p><p>“you don’t need to explain. i am nothing to you, remember? i am nothing more than a convenient fuck.” at this point, wonwoo is seething in anger. </p><p>“no, you know you’re not.” mingyu says, disbelief is evident in his expression. “you’re not just a conve---”</p><p>“that is how you made me feel, mingyu!” wonwoo finally snaps. “when you ignored me for days on end, that’s how you made me see myself. i will never be enough for you no matter how hard i try. if you want to be with her, fine! i am not stopping you.” </p><p>“wonwoo, i don’t want to be with her.”</p><p>wonwoo stares at mingyu with a broken expression. “stop lying to me, mingyu.” he whispers. “you still have feelings for ko hyejin.” </p><p>“i still do.” mingyu confesses. “i always will but it’s different now. please, hear me out.” </p><p>“no, enough.” wonwoo stops him. of course, what did he expect? for mingyu to deny it and confess his nonexistent love for wonwoo. </p><p>“i’ve had enough of your excuses.” wonwoo says in exasperation. he’s tired of arguing and fighting for what he thought he and mingyu had. </p><p>mingyu stills, shoulders hunched in defeat. the elevator door opens and wonwoo takes this as his cue to leave. </p><p>“do me a favor, mingyu.” he stares down at mingyu’s worn down face. “get lost and never talk to me again. i’ll pretend that you no longer exist.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kim mingyu</b>
</p><p><b>Yesterday </b>10:30 PM</p><p>wonwoo</p><p>wonwoo</p><p>i am so sorry</p><p>i did not mean to hurt you</p><p>i was an asshole but i never meant to make you feel worthless </p><p>you are one of the best things that ever happened to me</p><p>i hope you see this</p><p>wonwoo i am so sorry. i know you’re leaving me on read </p><p>i might still care for hyejin but she will never compare to you</p><p><b>Today </b>11:15 PM</p><p>wonwoo i can’t sleep </p><p>i just really miss you</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>it all happened so fast. </p><p>the sleepless nights, the heartache, and the fatigue are all catching up on wonwoo. today’s the final day of their comeback promotions and the mild headache wonwoo is nursing has progressed onto a full-blown migraine by the time they were doing the encore stage. </p><p>wonwoo wills himself to stay upright despite the worried glances and gestures he’s been receiving from the other members. as soon as he stepped backstage, he could no longer bear the pain as it seized his entire body. he remembers the sensation of falling and a shouting mingyu is the last thing he sees before the world turns black. </p><p> </p><p>a flash of blinding white greets him as soon as he opens his eyes. it takes him a second to realize that he’s not in his bedroom but in a hospital. a wave of embarrassment washes over him as he remembers passing out after a music show.</p><p>“thank heavens, you’re awake.” soonyoung hovers in front of him, clearly looking quite relieved that wonwoo is okay. </p><p>“h-how long was i out?” wonwoo’s voice comes out slightly scratchy. </p><p>“a day and a half.” soonyoung answers. wonwoo is surprised he managed to knock himself out for that long. </p><p>“the physician said you were over fatigue and terribly sleep-deprived. luckily, we don’t have much to do in the next couple of weeks. you have a lot of time to recover.” soonyoung explains.</p><p>“by the way, the younger ones visited you earlier before the nurses kicked them out for causing too much ruckus. everyone is worried about you.” soonyoung adds. </p><p>“oh.” wonwoo is touched that the other members are concerned for him. he should really do his best not to get this sick in the future. it’s a little frustrating on his part if he involuntarily disappoints the others and the fans when gets into situations like these. </p><p>wonwoo tries to lift his hand that is not hooked up to the i.v. but he cannot because something is weighing down his arm. he looks down and finds mingyu hunched over the bed, using his arm as a pillow, fast asleep. </p><p>“never left your side ever since you got confined.” soonyoung quips, looking down on sleeping mingyu. “if it weren’t for his fast reflexes, you might have gotten a concussion too.” </p><p>wonwoo’s heart betrays him by fluttering wildly in his chest. honestly, he thought mingyu would have given up on him by now with the amount of evading wonwoo has been doing these past few days. </p><p>it might just be out of guilt, wonwoo tries to remind himself. this thought kept him from losing his resolve and forget everything mingyu has done. all these acts of kindness and persistent apology is born out of guilt and pity. if he wasn’t on the way, mingyu would not hesitate to go back and be happy in hyejin’s arms. </p><p>“can you adjust the bed for me?” wonwoo requests soonyoung. </p><p>soonyoung obliges and adjusts the lever to put wonwoo on a semi-sitting position. mingyu starts to jostle. he gets up and the expression on his face changes from bleary to surprise and finally relieved when he sees wonwoo. “oh, you’re up.” he mumbles sleepily. </p><p>mingyu’s appearance is disheveled. his hair is sticking up in various directions, his clothes are rumpled, and his stubble is beginning to grow. </p><p>“ah, i guess this is my cue to leave.” soonyoung announces. </p><p>“soonyoung.” wonwoo panics. he turns to soonyoung, sending a signal to help him. he doesn’t know how to deal with mingyu right now. </p><p>soonyoung smiles and pats his shoulder. “you’re a big boy now, wonwoo. go talk to him and make sure to give him a chance to explain.” he turns to mingyu and also offers him a warning. “now’s your chance to apologize properly.” </p><p>wonwoo frowns as soonyoung closes the door with a soft click, leaving the two of them alone. mingyu squirms uncomfortably in his seat, eyes not meeting wonwoo. the silence in the room is so heavy that a knife could cut the tension brewing in the air. </p><p>“i should go, too.” mingyu mumbles quietly. </p><p>“why?” </p><p>“you need some rest.” mingyu says. “you can’t if i am here a-and, y-you don’t want to see me, right?” he looks so distraught when he said the last part. </p><p>“soonyoung says we have to talk.” wonwoo says in a matter-of-fact tone. “so talk.” </p><p>mingyu inhales deeply before he begins to speak. “i just want to start off by saying i am sorry for everything, wonwoo. i am sorry for ignoring you. i am sorry for stringing you along and leaving you dry. i am sorry that i was unfair, for taking and taking without returning your affection the way you deserve.” </p><p>mingyu soullessly stares at his own hands, still too ashamed to stare at wonwoo’s face. “and above all, i am sorry for making you feel like you don’t mean anything to me when in reality, you mean the whole world to me.” </p><p>“if i did, then what about hyejin? you told me you still liked her.” wonwoo questions him. </p><p>“it’s not in past tense, you still mean the whole world to me.” mingyu corrects him. “yes, i still have feelings for hyejin and for a moment, it confused me but things like that are hard to erase. she’s just a piece of my past, wonwoo. you are my present and if you allow me, i want you to be my future too.” </p><p>mingyu pauses, this time, he has the courage to look wonwoo in the eye to emphasize that he means what he says. he reaches for wonwoo’s hand and intertwines them with his. wonwoo lets him be. </p><p>“the night you stormed off on me, hyejin and i are breaking things off for good. we are just friends, please believe me, wonwoo.” mingyu pleads for the last time. </p><p>“i believe you.” wonwoo really does. he might not completely trust mingyu right now but he knows that whenever mingyu is sorry, he really is. “and i am sorry too.” </p><p>mingyu’s eyes start to well up with tears and he looks quite relieved, like a huge weight is taken off him. wonwoo scoots on his bed to make some space for mingyu. </p><p>“hey, come here.” wonwoo pats the space next to him. “this bed is big enough for us two.” </p><p>mingyu looks at him hesitantly. this leaves wonwoo no choice but to tug him until mingyu falls over the bed. mingyu finally clambers next to him and spoons him so that wonwoo’s head is laying on his chest. </p><p>“you don’t know how much i missed doing this.” mingyu says as he presses a soft kiss atop wonwoo’s head. </p><p>“if you do, then stop breaking my heart.” wonwoo lightheartedly admonishes him. with his free hand, he starts rubbing soothing circles on mingyu’s palm. </p><p>“i will do my best.” mingyu promises. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>that is how soonyoung finds them an hour later when he returns to check up on them, both fast asleep in each other’s arms. he whips out his phone and snaps a picture of them before sending it to the group’s chatroom where everyone breaks into collective chaos. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>seventeen idiots</b>
</p><p><b>Today</b> 03:30 PM</p><p>
  <b>soonyoung</b>
</p><p>sent a photo</p><p>
  <b>chan</b>
</p><p>finally! mingyu hyung &amp; wonwoo hyung look so cute </p><p>
  <b>seungcheol</b>
</p><p>about time they sorted out their feelings for each other</p><p>
  <b>jihoon</b>
</p><p>we can now all take a break from mutually pining wonwoo and mingyu </p><p>
  <b>seungkwan</b>
</p><p>the min-won ship has sailed</p><p><b>minghao<br/></b>pay up, bitches <b>@junhui @hansol</b></p><p>
  <b>seokmin</b>
</p><p>this is the best plot twist of 2020 </p><p>wait--- how could the hospital bed fit two grown men ??? </p><p>
  <b>jeonghan</b>
</p><p>can you be as romantic like that to me too? <b>@joshua</b></p><p>
  <b>joshua</b>
</p><p>shut up <b>@jeonghan </b></p><p> </p><p><b>Today</b> 06:00 PM</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>junhui</b>
</p><p>wait, what’s going on? </p><p>??? </p><p>anyone??? <br/><br/></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is my first prompt request and i am nervous on how it turned out. i hope i gave it justice. *fingers crossed*</p><p>tmi no. 1: ko hyejin is inspired by it-girl seo yeji (iontbo stans where u at)<br/>tmi no. 2: i might or might not have rewrote this fic hundreds of times before i came to this one.<br/>tmi no. 3: bang pd calling svt the next mega global superstars just sounds so sexc. i am rooting for what's in store for all of them.<br/>how did you find this chapter? please let me know my by leaving kudos and comments. you can also drop down your prompt requests. see you next update!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. kiss and (don't) tell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mingyu’s longtime crush, jeon wonwoo kisses him at a party not only once, but twice. mingyu experiences a crisis.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is probably one of the lighter drabbles i’ve written and this is inspired by a real-life situation that happened to someone i know (totally not me, i am a huge virgin when it comes to these things.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mingyu is no stranger to parties and drinking on school nights but in hindsight, he shouldn’t have given in to peer pressure (i.e. seokmin and minghao). instead, he should’ve used this precious time burying his head on his ever-growing list of schoolwork like the diligent student his parents expect him to be. </p><p>regret always comes conveniently late. </p><p>mingyu’s not worried about the amount of schoolwork he has been neglecting. well, his stellar performance in lectures allow him to slack a little bit and enjoy life as a sophomore in college. he’s awfully worried about making a huge fool out of himself in front of the man of his dreams, jeon wonwoo. it’s not like he hasn’t done it already in front of his crush countless of times, but alcohol and devious friends are a dangerous mix. </p><p>he did not even expect wonwoo to be here. he knows their friendship circles do overlap and in one occasion or another, they’re bound to meet. however, this is the first time as far as mingyu’s knowledge goes, that wonwoo has attended a college party albeit being one of the more intimate ones thrown.</p><p>in the midst of all the ruckus that is happening in middle of jeonghan’s living room, mingyu’s vision focuses on wonwoo. looking like a five-course meal, he’s decked in all black-- a tank top, cargo pants, and sneakers ensemble. his hair is held back by a beanie and silver wire-framed specs. he’s nursing a red cup in his hands and he’s immersed in conversation with lee jihoon. </p><p>mingyu swears, just by looking at wonwoo, all of the air in his lungs has been knocked out. that’s the kind of effect wonwoo has on mingyu and even if it happens all time, it will always feel like a foreign experience to mingyu. there will always be a new reason for mingyu to fall for wonwoo even more. </p><p> </p><p>a little while later, seungkwan--- fulfilling his role of designated entertainer, forces all thirteen of them to sit in a circle in the middle of the living room. mingyu is sandwiched between joshua and hansol, wonwoo directly seated across him. </p><p>“to keep things interesting and make this night memorable, we will spice things up by playing a classic.” seungkwan says in a pro variety show host fashion. </p><p>seungkwan retrieves an empty bottle he has been hiding behind him the entire time and waves it in the air with a mischievous expression painted on his face. “a drinking game staple: truth or dare!” </p><p>soonyoung, seokmin, and chan holler loudly in excitement. on the other hand, a lump grows in mingyu’s throat. he’s not keen on losing his dignity in front of his crush tonight, so he has to take the best course of action: play safe even if it deducts points of coolness from him. </p><p>the mechanics of the game are nothing new. whoever gets chosen by the spinning bottle has to make a choice between truth or dare. if you choose to play truth, you have to answer the question and take a shot. evade the question, take an additional shot. if you choose dare, you have to perform the challenge and if you fail, you drink two shots. </p><p>the bottle lands first on junhui. </p><p>“truth or dare?” seungkwan questions him. </p><p>“dare.” junhui answers coolly. </p><p>everyone braces their seats as jeonghan brings him an entire lemon and a chilli pepper doused in hot sauce to eat successively. with a cool bravado, junhui takes the entire lemon in his mouth and then chomps off the chilli pepper without any complaints leaving everyone in awe by his bizarre tolerance of extreme flavors. </p><p>the second person to take on a dare is seungcheol. soonyoung, being the biggest tease that he is, challenged him to do fifteen push-ups with his ex, jeonghan propped up on his back. both being the competitive asses that they are, obliged to do the challenge and nobody misses the sexual tension still lingering between the two of them. </p><p>as the night goes on, the yet-to-be victims of the bottle narrow down to mingyu, wonwoo, chan, and vernon. after soonyoung’s awkward prank profession of love to the pizza delivery boy, the bottle lands on mingyu. </p><p>“so, kim mingyu, truth or dare?” minghao drawls. </p><p>without any thought, mingyu replies, “truth.” </p><p>“you are so vanilla, mingyu.” minghao narrows his eyes at him. </p><p>“the dares are getting vanilla, hao.” mingyu retorts. “a little truth should switch things up a little bit.” </p><p>“fine. let’s have it your way, old fart.” minghao rolls his eyes at him. “hypothetically, you chose dare. i would challenge you to kiss the person you find the most attractive in this room. who would it be?” </p><p>mingyu thinks of his options. he can lie and call out a random name but everyone would know he’s not telling the truth. it’s a stupid game for heaven’s sake and it should not put him into a split-second crisis but here he is. either way, his friends would not let him leave scot-free without taking the opportunity to tease him with wonwoo. </p><p>“wonwoo.” he says quietly. he glances at wonwoo, who is staring at him with a blank expression. it sends a shiver to his spine. this is the moment he knows he fucked up. </p><p>mingyu reluctantly spins the bottle. the group lets out a chorus of oohs and aahs as the bottle lands on wonwoo. </p><p>“this is definitely, interesting.” seungkwan comments. “now, wonwoo, is it truth or dare?” </p><p>“dare.” wonwoo replies instantly. </p><p>jeonghan shoots his hands up in the air. “let me do the honor of giving wonwoo his dare.” </p><p>everyone knows that once jeonghan gives the dare, it will surely scar you for life. an overwhelming sense of dread fills mingyu as he is certain the dare would have to do something with him. it’s obvious in the way jeonghan stares at him with a devious look. </p><p>“wonwoo-ah” jeonghan’s voice is dripped with honey. “who do you find attractive in this room? let us know by kissing that person.” </p><p>wonwoo tenses visibly. his eyes dart from the two shot glasses joshua nudged in his direction to everyone’s faces in the room. </p><p>“take your time, wonwoo.” jeonghan adds. </p><p>wonwoo gnaws on his lip. he’s clearly contemplating his choices and for some reason, mingyu’s heart is roaring wildly in his chest. mingyu is certain that wonwoo would not choose him. jihoon and soonyoung would be his resort but he can’t help but feel nervous. he’s bracing himself for the heartbreak that is about to happen. </p><p>shaking his head, wonwoo has made his choice. he gets on his knees and to mingyu’s shock, he’s making his way towards his direction. mingyu’s brain is starting to short-circuit and before he could fully comprehend what is happening, wonwoo’s lips brushes on his. the kiss itself is fleeting, it couldn’t have lasted for more than five seconds, but it is enough for mingyu’s soul to leave his body. </p><p>did jeon wonwoo just kiss him?</p><p>the room falls in complete silence. everyone is too shell-shocked by what happened, not only mingyu. the only ones who have a shit-eating grin on their faces are minghao and jeonghan who are clearly pleased by the turn of events. </p><p>wonwoo returns to his seat but his expression is blank, as if he hasn’t done anything mind-boggling. on the other hand, mingyu is experiencing his biggest life crisis so far. </p><p>jeon wonwoo, the literature major who’s one year his senior. the guy he’s been hopelessly pining over the past year and a half. the guy who has only muttered ten words in total to mingyu. the guy who couldn’t even spare him a glance because honestly, he’s way out of mingyu’s league and out of the blue, in a stupid party, he kisses mingyu when there are twelve other viable candidates to choose from. what is that supposed to mean? </p><p>mingyu decides this is nothing but a dream. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>mingyu blinks and the first thing that he sees is wonwoo’s face right in front of him. it’s illuminated by the faint glow of the moonlight seeping through the windows. </p><p>mingyu, doubtful of what is happening, reaches a hand out to touch wonwoo to affirm that he is in fact, conscious and not merely imagining things. he takes note of the fact that wonwoo’s cheeks are warm to the touch. </p><p>“did you just slap me?” wonwoo asks, slightly perplexed. </p><p>“am i dreaming?” mingyu mumbles blearily. reality is still obtuse to him. </p><p>“no.” wonwoo replies. “you must dream of me so often that you get confused whether i am real or not. i am as real as seokmin snoring beside you right now.” </p><p>mingyu looks to his left and a few meters away, seokmin is sprawled like a supinated starfish with his mouth agape and snoring. “then, that kiss earlier was no dream too?” mingyu turns back to wonwoo. </p><p>“yeah.” wonwoo says. his beanie is gone and his jet black hair is sticking in different directions but he still looks breathtaking. mingyu marvels at the fact this is how it feels like to wake up to the beautiful sight of jeon wonwoo. </p><p>“were you watching me sleep?” mingyu asks. </p><p>“not exactly.” wonwoo admits. “i was thinking about something.” </p><p>“while watching me sleep.” mingyu points out.</p><p>honestly, this is not how mingyu imagined their first proper conversation would go: on the floor of jeonghan’s house where everyone else is passed out drunk. he’s surprised how conversing to wonwoo is easier than he hoped it would be. </p><p>“i want to kiss you again.” wonwoo blurts out. </p><p>“what?”</p><p>“i want to kiss you again.” wonwoo repeats, with conviction. “this time, properly.” </p><p>“okay?” mingyu doesn’t know how to process this. wonwoo, who has only talked to him a total of five sentences in the past is now asking if he can kiss him. at this point, mingyu’s brain has turned to mush.  </p><p>wonwoo moves and situates himself on top of mingyu, as if he’s straddling him. mingyu becomes hyper-aware of wonwoo’s growing proximity: the scent of wonwoo’s cologne, his ragged breathing, the jolts of electricity running through mingyu’s spine every time their skin brushes. </p><p>wonwoo leans in closer, second by second until his lips press on mingyu’s again. this time, mingyu can properly feel him--- taste him. there’s remnants of soju but otherwise, wonwoo’s lips stay sweet. they stay still for a moment before wonwoo starts moving again, lips tugging on mingyu for him to respond. </p><p>it starts off sloppy but when mingyu gets the hang of it, he snakes a palm against wonwoo’s neck and pulls him closer to deepen the kiss. mingyu’s entire body feels like he’s on fire. wonwoo’s lighting every fiber of his being. </p><p>wonwoo pulls away and slumps to the empty spot beside mingyu. both of them are breathless, adrenaline slowly wearing off. mingyu hopes he’s not only imagining that the kiss cemented the fact that there is something going on in there. that somehow, wonwoo could have felt the pull too. </p><p>“well, that was something.” mingyu begins, trying to toe the line in this new development between him and wonwoo. </p><p>“mingyu, i’d appreciate it if you keep this between the two of us. not a single word to anyone.” wonwoo says. </p><p>mingyu’s heart drops. “oh.”</p><p>“i can feel it too.” wonwoo admits. “but i still don’t know what it means. i don’t want to lead you on either just because i am unsure.” </p><p>“this wouldn’t be the last time this happens, then?” mingyu asks in a hopeful tone. he hates how desperate he sounds but he’s not willing to pass up this opportunity either even if it means he will be wonwoo’s dirty little secret. </p><p>“i-i’ll think about it.” wonwoo says before he gets up, readying himself to leave. “i guess it’s better if i go home now.” </p><p>“okay.” mingyu breathes out. </p><p>“see you again, mingyu.” it sounded like a promise and that is all the affirmation mingyu needs from him. wonwoo is willing to try. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>do you think wonwoo and mingyu would do it again? </p><p>honestly, i am thinking of making this a ten chapter drabble collection or maybe fifteen? i don’t know yet. mandatory reminder that requests are totally open just comment them down below. </p><p>also, please give some insights about this chapter and maybe some love by leaving comments and kudos. thank you so much and see you next update. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. in another life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wonwoo is getting married. this is mingyu's last chance to tell him he loves him or he must hold his silence forever.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>angst ahead + the 97 line as best bros.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“kim mingyu!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu stops in his tracks. seokmin catches up to him, heaving and breathless. he puts an arm on mingyu’s shoulders and looks at mingyu straight in the eye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“this is your last chance to tell wonwoo you still love him.” seokmin says in a warning tone. “do not fuck up or else i’ll let minghao impale you with nunchucks.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i will do my best.” mingyu raises his hands to show seokmin that this is his oath. </span>
</p>
<p>seokmin grins at him like a proud father cheering for his child. he shoves mingyu lightly to get him to move. “now, go! don’t come back here until you’ve done your mission.” </p>
<p>
  <span>“i will not let you down!” mingyu yells back to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu starts moving like he is running for his life, minghao’s designer suit be damned. light on his feet, he starts navigating through the hotel hallways, eyes scanning for the correct room number. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>taking a sharp left, he’s now standing in front of the right door, a shiny 406 emblazoned on it. with shaky fingers, he presses the buzzer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“who is it?” wonwoo’s deep honey voice speaks through the intercom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu inhales a deep breath. he is now at the point of no return, he supposes. he knows he needs to do this or else, he might have to hold his silence forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it’s me… kim mingyu.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>one month ago </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu doesn’t know if it is by sheer fate or purely dumb luck when he met his college sunbae, choi seungcheol on his way to the convenience store from his drunken walk of shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>despite his refusal, seungcheol insisted on buying him bagels and coffee on a dainty café across the street. maybe it’s the exasperation that led mingyu to open up to his sunbae about how his life has gone downhill the past few months. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>for the first time mingyu has allowed his dam to break. his relationship has hit the fan. he is unemployed. for the past few weeks he’s been freeloading on seokmin and he wakes up each morning in another stranger’s bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>seungcheol, along with his other friends--- seokmin and minghao, helped mingyu to get back on his feet. it was a long and painful process, to leave the past behind and move forward to build a better version of himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>now, two years have passed and he is the creative director for seungcheol’s record label. he’s the one in charge of concept ideas for seungcheol’s talents and he’s well praised in the industry. especially for the visual work he’s put into svt, the label’s prized idol group. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>today’s another tough day at work with deadlines nearing close to the end. mingyu’s looking over some of the designs seungcheol sent him for approval, when an intern dropped by his office. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“mingyu-ssi, you have a visitor.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu perks up from his computer, reaching for his coffee. “hm, who is it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it’s two in the afternoon and mingyu is certain he isn’t expecting anyone. it might be his mother or sister, though. they have a habit of dropping by without any notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“he says his name is jeon wonwoo, sir.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu almost drops his coffee. it’s a name he hasn’t hear in what ---- more than a year and a half? he sets down the coffee again before he could make a mess. a million thoughts race in his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>after two years of dropping off the face of the earth, why would wonwoo come back all of a sudden? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“is this a bad time, sir?” the intern asks expectantly which snaps mingyu out of his thoughts. “i could tell him to sched---”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no!” mingyu exclaims. after realizing he has reacted too brashly, he inhales deeply to regain his composure. “i mean, just send him in.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“will do, mingyu-ssi.” the intern bows to mingyu before closing the door with a soft click. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu frantically opens the camera app on his computer and inspects his appearance. he smooths out his fringe using his fingers, straightens his shirt, and checks his breath. it’s the first time he will see his ex after a long time, he can’t afford to look awful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a soft knock comes on his door. mingyu straightens his posture and clears his throat. “come in.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo emerges from the door and mingyu swears the earth stopped spinning on its axis. it’s just him and wonwoo, looking as breathtaking as ever in a brown turtleneck and gray corduroy jacket with a shy smile plastered on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hello, mingyu.” he greets softly. “long time, no see.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu wants nothing more than to jump out of his chair, run to wonwoo, enclose him in a tight embrace and never let him go again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh, uh, wonwoo.” mingyu is at a loss for words, to be honest. “you can come and take a seat on the couch, i’ll join you there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“okay.” </span>
</p>
<p>wonwoo takes off his jacket and folds them in his arms. he settles himself on the white leather couch and looks around the room as if he’s trying to know the present mingyu through the decòr of his office. </p>
<p>mingyu joins him a second later and situates himself on the single-seater sofa on wonwoo’s left. </p>
<p>
  <span>“do you want tea, coffee, water?” mingyu offers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, i’m fine.” wonwoo declines politely. </span>
</p>
<p>the air around the room is wrapped in tension and awkwardness. mingyu feels like his heart is about to burst out of the seams right now. it feels like it’s only yesterday when wonwoo walked out of their apartment carrying his belongings and most of mingyu’s heart with him. </p>
<p>
  <span>now he’s here, in front of mingyu, looking beautiful and healthy. for the most part, mingyu is relieved that wonwoo is okay but dread is starting to seep through his nerves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>why is wonwoo here? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a huge part of mingyu hopes wonwoo is here to forgive him and give their star-crossed romance another shot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“congratulations on winning a grammy for that album art, by the way.” wonwoo says to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“thank you.” mingyu blushes. “it’s the entire creative team’s achievement too, not just mine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“always so humble.” wonwoo dotes. mingyu just chuckles, slightly flustered by the compliments from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the laughter dies down and wonwoo sighs visibly. he scoots closer to mingyu and places a hand on top of mingyu’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“but for real, i am proud of you. i am happy that you are now going places. you are far from the person that you were when we were still… you know.” wonwoo trails off. “if we were still together, you wouldn’t have all of this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>suddenly, the atmosphere gets heavier. the elephant in the room is now acknowledged and it makes mingyu quite uneasy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“don’t make it sound like what happened between us was a bad thing.” mingyu frowns. “you are still one of the best things to ever happen to me, wonwoo.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i know.” wonwoo mumbles. “i don’t regret us either, mingyu. i forgive you and i realized after all this time, i still want you to be a part of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“for real?” mingyu is taken aback. he almost expected wonwoo to hurl hurtful things at him. remind me of how inadequate he is as a boyfriend and use that against him. a hope inside him comes back to life again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo nods. “when i came to america, i was deeply hurt and angry. lost, even. we were in a pretty bad place then, gyu. i struggled to function because even though i was halfway across the world, everything reminded me of you.” </span>
</p>
<p>a wave of guilt washes over mingyu. he wants to travel back in time and redo things so that wonwoo didn’t have to hurt. or better, they didn’t have to break-up. </p>
<p>“then, i met hansung.” wonwoo says. “he helped me pick myself up again. i don’t know what my life would be like without him right now. it’s even his idea that i should reconnect with you.”</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo retrieves a small ivory envelope from his jacket and hands it to mingyu with a huge smile on his face. mingyu opens the envelope and reads the contents of the fancy card. mingyu’s heart shatters onto the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it’s a wedding invitation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i would like you to come to our wedding, gyu.” wonwoo says, unaware that mingyu’s world is burning in front of him. “i would like to thank you because if it weren’t for you… i wouldn’t have found the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>but you are the only one i want to spend the rest of my life with, mingyu wants to scream. his eyes are fixated on the card between his hands. he wants to tear it into pieces in front of wonwoo but he can’t. he’s too weak. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i am glad that you, uhm, found someone.” mingyu says, trying his best not to choke on his words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“will you be there, mingyu?” wonwoo looks at mingyu with a hopeful expression. “i want you to be there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i will.” mingyu replies with an overly cheerful bravado even though saying it leaves a heavy taste on his tongue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>just like that, wonwoo shred his heart into smithereens all over again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>present </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu jolts awake when his side gets a harsh hit. he sits upright and looks up blearily to find seokmin, with hands on each hip staring down at him with an unamused expression. mingyu’s head feels like it’s being pounded by a sledgehammer and his throat is parched. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“minghao, he’s up!” seokmin yells, making mingyu’s head hurt more than it already does. </span>
</p>
<p>“what the fuck?” mingyu curses, groaning back to lie on the floor again. “can you keep it down?” </p>
<p>
  <span>he hears footsteps making its way towards them. he supposes it’s minghao. he closes his eyes because he can’t bear to see minghao’s smug expression when seokmin’s pitiful stare is already bad enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i was really hoping i’d get to exhume a dead body.” he hears minghao say. “it’d be fun to live out my serial murderer fantasies for once.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he knows he looks pathetic, sprawled on the floor of his living room. boxes of chinese takeout and empty bottles of soju are littered all over the place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“seungcheol told us you did not show up to work yesterday.” seokmin says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i wasn’t up for it.” mingyu mumbles, sitting up. he curls in on himself and tucks his chin on top of his knees. he reaches for the invitation he ripped to pieces on his drunken rage last night, toying with it between his fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>seokmin and minghao share a meaningful look. both understanding what mingyu feels without him saying it out loud, they both sink onto the floor and flank mingyu on both sides. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it’s wonwoo’s wedding today. will you go?” seokmin asks him in a gentle tone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu promised wonwoo he’s coming but right now, he doesn’t know if it’s the best thing to do. he doesn’t know if he will be able to handle watching wonwoo say his vows to someone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it’s so unfair, seok.” mingyu breathes out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“tell us about it.” seokmin pats mingyu’s knee. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“for the past two years, i worked so hard to be the person who deserves to be with wonwoo. the one who is able to spend the rest of their life with him.” tears begin to fall from mingyu’s eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i was hoping, i’d go and find him. ask him to take me back. it won’t be easy, i know, but at least i still have him.” mingyu gasps for air. “i lost him. i am too late. if only i did not hurt him. if only i had held tighter to him that night, none of this would have happened.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it’s so unfair of wonwoo too move on without me.” he cries out. </span>
</p>
<p>minghao catches him on his arms as he falls into broken sobs. he rubs soothing circles onto mingyu’s back and lets mingyu spill everything that he has been holding inside him. </p>
<p>
  <span>“healing is different for everyone, gyu.” seokmin says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“for wonwoo, it’s in the form of hansung. as for you, you’ve come a long way. we’ve seen you grow into this wonderful version of yourself. all that is left for you now is to detach yourself from wonwoo and complete your own healing. forgive yourself and move forward.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>for mingyu’s friends, this is the first time they’ve seen him cry for wonwoo. they’ve seen him cope with it before but mingyu never cried. this mingyu breaks their heart so much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“look, gyu. nothing is ever too late.” minghao tells him, still cradling a sobbing mingyu in his arms. “you never really lost him if he still made an effort to see you again. but if you let this pass up without saying that you still want him in your life, you’ll live with the biggest regret you ever made.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it’s like a switch has been flipped inside mingyu. he collects himself and pulls away from minghao. he’s mulling over his choices: </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he can run to wonwoo and tell him he still loves him. or, he can spend the rest of his life wishing that he had done something when he had the opportunity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“mingyu, if you don’t want to go, it’s okay. “ seokmin tells him. “we can do whatever you want today. it’s on me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu shakes his head. “no.” </span>
</p>
<p>“what do you mean?” seokmin asks. </p>
<p>ignoring seokmin, mingyu stands up shuffling around his apartment frantically. seokmin and minghao hover behind him, confused as to why mingyu is suddenly panicking. </p>
<p>
  <span>“fuck, i need a suit.” mingyu announces. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“what for?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu turns to his friends. “i’m going to the wedding.” he says with finality. “i have a plan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>minghao and seokmin share a knowing look. “leave your suit to me.” minghao tells him. “go take a shower now, mingyu.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“operation: crash the wedding is on.” seokmin says with a devilish smile. “i’ll head downstairs and get the car running.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo is the one to open the door and he isn’t able to contain the shock on his face upon seeing mingyu in front of him. mingyu feels like his heart is about to burst at the seams. </span>
</p>
<p>“hey, i know it’s not the right time.” mingyu looks at him earnestly. “but can we talk? i just want to tell you something.” </p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo looks a little hesitant. “i’ve got an hour left, i think.” wonwoo says, opening the door a little wider to let mingyu in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu walks in the hotel room and sits on the bed. wonwoo takes the empty spot beside him. mingyu steals a look at wonwoo, who’s fidgeting with the sleeves of his suit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo is ethereal in the three-piece black tuxedo he’s wearing. his long hair is pushed back, revealing his forehead. gone are the wire-framed glasses too, he’s wearing contacts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu grows sad for the fact that wonwoo looks this amazing on his wedding day. he would give everything to be the one wonwoo leaves the altar with later on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“wonwoo.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hm.” wonwoo looks at him with the softest expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu inhales and reaches to hold wonwoo’s hands. “i love you and there is nothing in this world that i want more than to turn back the time so that i would be the one you’d share this special moment with.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo tears his gaze away from him, now staring at their hands on top of his lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“before it’s too late, i just want to tell you i still want to be a part of your life and you, with mine.” mingyu says, choking on his tears. “i do not want to wake up tomorrow knowing that i lost you forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i can’t do that.” wonwoo shakes his head. “i can’t leave hansung, mingyu. you can’t do this to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m not asking you to leave him.” mingyu clarifies. “if he is the one that makes your heart happy, i accept my fate. but at least, can we be friends? i lost you once, wonwoo. i can’t lose you again.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu is taken aback when wonwoo encloses him into a tight embrace. “that is all i ever wanted to hear right now, gyu. i don’t want to lose you too.” he mumbles onto mingyu’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>wonwoo pulls away and looks at mingyu. “thank you, gyu, for everything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“thank you also, wonwoo.” mingyu parrots back. “for showing me what love is and for teaching me the best lessons in life.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“stop it, mingyu. you’re making me cry.” wonwoo wipes away the tear stains on his cheeks whilst chuckling at mingyu. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>mingyu feels relieved that a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. this is now wonwoo’s happy ending but for mingyu, it’s only the beginning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“let’s go.” mingyu stands up and extends his hand towards wonwoo. “your groom is waiting for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“will you walk me down the hall?” wonwoo asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i will go with you on the way there.” </span>
</p>
<p>wonwoo takes mingyu’s offer and they leave the hotel room both feeling renewed. it might not be the way mingyu wanted it to turn out, but at least in this life, he has wonwoo as a friend. </p>
<p>
  <span>the knowledge that wonwoo would be by his side and for him to assure that he would do the same, it’s more than enough for him. it would always be better than nothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>in another life though, or in another existing universe; mingyu is the one that wonwoo ends up spending the rest of his life together. that hope will never turn to dust. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so... how tragic was that? </p>
<p>this is inspired by the movie, on your wedding day. that movie's sad as hell. also, i decided to make this collection ten chapters long. so now i have about four drabbles/one-shots left. :((( </p>
<p>please leave requests if you have some and don't forget to share your thoughts about this chapter by commenting them down below. kudos are also appreciated. </p>
<p>see you next update!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. hello from the other side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wonwoo calls mingyu five years after they break up.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title taken from adele's hello for quite obvious reasons. lololol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>for the past hour and a half, wonwoo has been looking for a certain book in his office that jihoon needs as a citation for his dissertation. jihoon doesn’t need it right away but wonwoo is uncertain he will have the liberty to scour through his belongings again once midterms season approaches. </p><p>sentimental is probably not a valid term in wonwoo’s book, but he does not deny the nostalgia that washes over him as he finds an old train ticket that slips off his tattered copy of me before you that’s tucked between heavy binders of school files. </p><p>he reclines back on his swivel chair and toys with the faded piece of paper between his fingers. although the ticket is jarred by time, wonwoo clearly remembers the impromptu ride to anyang six years ago. he remembers getting the call and without any hesitation, he dropped everything he was doing to go all the way anyang, where his heartstrings are being tugged. </p><p>a knock to his door breaks him out of his reverie. he chucks the ticket inside a miscellaneous drawer and straightens his posture. </p><p>“come in.” </p><p>the door opens and reveals seungkwan, the senior who was assigned to be wonwoo’s teaching assistant last term together with hansol, the foreign kid that wonwoo recognizes from one of his classes. </p><p>“good afternoon, professor jeon.” the pair greets him in unison. </p><p>“oh, seungkwan, hansol! come in. what can i do for you?” wonwoo asks from his desk. </p><p>seungkwan and hansol hover in front of him, both with nervous expressions painted on their faces. “well, when i was your ta last term, you told me you owe me three wish cards for my service.” seungkwan begins. “i’d like to use one today.” </p><p>wonwoo chuckles lightly. “yes, sure. your wish is my command, seungkwan; just tell me what i could do.” </p><p>“so, hansol and i are paired up for a social experiment for our project in psychology.” seungkwan retrieves a folder from his backpack and hands it to wonwoo. “and we decided to go for something liberating.” </p><p>“what do you mean?” wonwoo raises an eyebrow, intrigued by the project. </p><p>“for phase one, we’ll be asking our participants to choose one person they’re no longer connected with and let them write down all the things that they wanted to say to that person but they didn’t have the chance to. phase two will be revealed after the first phase is completed.” seungkwan explains. </p><p>wonwoo considers his options. he could write about his middle school teacher that sparked his interest in literature but he knows he’s thanked her enough. he also thinks of soonyoung who he hasn’t seen for months now but then again they’ve been texting each other all the time. his mother is out of the question too. even though he barely calls back in changwon, he’s certain he’s not keeping anything from her either except for skipping meals and such. </p><p>there is one person in mind, though. someone whose relations with wonwoo died bitterly five years ago. wonwoo doesn’t know if this experience would show how much he’s healed or if it would just reopen old wounds again. </p><p>“would you like to participate, professor?” seungkwan asks. </p><p>wonwoo wants to say no but he’s not one to back out from a promise. plus, it’s hard to say no when seungkwan and hansol are both looking at him with matching hopeful expressions. “sure. why not?”</p><p>seungkwan beams at his affirmation. “alright, now you just have to sign at the last page of the packet confirming your participation and your consent that we will film the entire process. the footage will be used for inference later on and no part of it will be leaked publicly.” </p><p>wonwoo signs the packet without any qualms. “you have my full trust, seungkwan.” <br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>wonwoo spends the next fifteen minutes pouring his heart out onto the piece of paper seungkwan provided. he initially thought he wouldn’t be able to write down because it hurt too much to relive all the pain he had to go through. but he supposes, he really had a multitude of things to say and to be sorry for, that letting it all out seemed natural. besides, he’s confident it wouldn’t reach that person anyway. </p><p>once he’s done, wonwoo sets down the pen and flips the paper face down. there is a heavy feeling growing in his chest and he is nowhere near from feeling liberated as seungkwan promised. </p><p>“professor jeon, can we know who you wrote the letter to?” hansol asks. </p><p>the syllables seem to be stuck in his throat. it hurts to say his name out loud but wonwoo does anyway. “kim mingyu.” </p><p>“what was your relation to him?” </p><p>“h-he’s my ex.” wonwoo chokes out. </p><p>seungkwan nods sympathetically. “professor jeon, for the second phase, we would like to ask you to try calling him and read your letter aloud.” seungkwan gives him his own phone. “you can use our phone in case you don’t want him to know it’s you calling.” </p><p>wonwoo stares at the phone in front of him. all of a sudden the realization that he’s not yet ready to call mingyu. it’s been five years since they broke up and he doesn’t know if mingyu would want to talk to him after everything. hell, he doesn’t even know if mingyu is still in seoul. </p><p>“if you want, we can call him and read the letter on your behalf.” seungkwan offers. </p><p>“no.” wonwoo snatches the phone off the table. “i’ll do it myself. j-just give me a moment.” </p><p>with trembling fingers, wonwoo types out the series of digits he knows by heart. wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s relieved when the other line begins to ring. with each passing second that mingyu doesn’t pick up, the dreadful anticipation building up inside him turns into disappointment. </p><p>“he’s not picking up.” wonwoo looks at seungkwan and hansol dejectedly. </p><p>“it’s okay, you can leave a voicemail.” hansol says. “what’s important is that you have vocalized your message and let it out your chest.” </p><p>wonwoo dials again and like last time, it goes straight to voicemail. the anxiety builds up in his chest and his throat feels dry. this is it; he’s reaching out again to mingyu. </p><p>“hey, mingyu. it’s me, wonwoo.” he chokes out. “i’m calling from someone else’s phone; it’s a long story. i  know it’s been a long while and i’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but please give me this chance to tell you something.” </p><p>wonwoo lifts the paper and exhales deeply before he starts to read his letter. “five years ago, i made the hardest decision of my life; it was to break up with you. i did it in the worst way possible. i drove you away by letting you believe that you no longer made me happy and being around you exhausted me.” </p><p>“i know my words would probably make no sense right now, but i was lying when i said all those things, mingyu. you were the light of my life, the anchor that keeps me grounded. i love you with every shred of my being that i knew i had to let you go because being with me did you bad more than good.” </p><p>“when i learned that you turned down an opportunity to do an intership abroad because you did not want to leave me, it made me realize that i was holding you back from the things you could achieve for yourself. how many more chances would you pass up just because of me? you are a genius by your own right, mingyu and the world deserved to know your name.”</p><p>“seokmin told me that you are now critically-acclaimed worldwide and i am glad i made the right choice even if it cost us what we had. i couldn’t be more prouder of the person you have become, mingyu.” </p><p>“i am so sorry for breaking your heart but i just want you to know that i really love you. even if i had the chance to turn back time, i would still do the same thing. i love you so much that i’d give you the whole world even if it meant without me in it.”</p><p>“i know this apology is overdue but i think it’s time for you to know the entire truth and understand why i had to to that. it’s also time for me to face reality and complete my own healing. you are one of the best things to ever happen to me, kim mingyu and i will always cherish that. i don’t think i could ever love anybody the way that i love you.”</p><p>wonwoo finishes off with a shaky breath. he detaches the phone from his ears and punches the end button before handing the phone back to seungkwan. </p><p>“how do you feel now, professor jeon?” seungkwan asks in a comforting tone. </p><p>wonwoo ponders at the question. after five years, this is the first time he said his reasons out loud, not just inside his head. after all this time, he allowed everyone to think he’s fully responsible for the fallout for all the wrong reasons. it’s much easier for mingyu to move on from him if wonwoo made himself the subject of resentment. </p><p>“it’s not a pleasant feeling but i feel considerably …” wonwoo pauses to find the exact words. “... light.</p><p>“that was a noble thing to do, professor.” seungkwan compliments him subtly. “to sacrifice everything for the sake of making him happy. he must have meant the world to you.” </p><p>“yeah.” wonwoo smiles at him sadly. “he still means the world to me.” </p><p>the session ends with pair profusely apologizing and thanking him for participating in the project. wonwoo assures them that it’s alright. once they’re out the door, wonwoo sinks in his chair and wonders how kim mingyu might react to his message. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>drops of rain start to pelt over wonwoo’s head when he steps onto the curb to hail a cab. he mutters a small curse, berating himself for staying an hour longer in his office and not even bothering to carry a coat before leaving earlier. </p><p>he takes shelter in front of the building’s main entrance, waiting for the rain to die down. it’s nearing eight pm and wonwoo is the last one to leave. he still hasn’t found the book jihoon needs and he spent a good part of the afternoon mulling over his memories with mingyu. </p><p>he notices a tall figure carrying a black umbrella over their head making their way towards the building. wonwoo brushes it off for a colleague or a student going back to retrieve something they forgot.  </p><p>the stranger stops in front of wonwoo but his face is obscured by the umbrella over his head. it’s also a little dark out and wonwoo, even with his glasses, can still be as blind as a bat. the stranger lowers the umbrella and closes it with a loud click. </p><p>it only takes a second for wonwoo to recognize who the stranger is. of course, there is no way in the world he’d forget this face. the face that he used to wake up to in the mornings five years ago. the face that he used to map with kisses before. </p><p>all the air inside wonwoo’s lungs gets knocked out. </p><p>“wonwoo.”</p><p>“mingyu.” </p><p>mingyu takes a step closer and wonwoo’s heart lurches. he’s still the twenty-year old mingyu that used to belong to wonwoo but at the same time he isn’t. he doesn’t miss the way mingyu’s shoulders fill his coat and the sense of elegance his clothes scream. he doesn’t miss the way mingyu’s  piercing eyes glint with sadness and confusion. </p><p>“i got your call.” mingyu breathes out. </p><p>“oh.” wonwoo stills. </p><p>“you’re so unfair.” mingyu looks at wonwoo with a stern glare. wonwoo wants to curl in on himself, shame creeping up to him but he’s rooted in his spot. </p><p>“i am so sorry.” </p><p>mingyu drops his umbrella and closes the gap between him by pulling wonwoo into a tight embrace. wonwoo is taken by surprise, but he just wants to melt in mingyu’s overwhelming presence; the familiar scent of his cologne and his warmth. </p><p>mingyu pulls away and rests his hands on the sides of wonwoo’s arms. he looks at wonwoo’s eyes directly, wide and pleading. “y-you need to explain to me everything.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter is about mingyu but he only showed up for like 10 seconds TT_TT. </p><p>anyway, what do you think about his chapter? please let me know by leaving down comments and kudos below. </p><p>see you next update &amp; don't forget to stream 24H later!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. confessions and hindrances</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wonwoo says he loves mingyu for the first time. it causes mingyu to panic big-time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>slight warnings for this chapter: aged-up mingyu and there is a 20 year age difference between him and mingyu. this chapter is inspired by the carat land going seventy skit because sugar daddy mingyu is just *chef's kiss*. i hope you enjoy this one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>perhaps, it’s the cold breeze of the night and the certain loneliness that autumn brings that makes wonwoo clingier. to be honest, mingyu doesn’t mind these rare moments when wonwoo can be unguarded and extra affectionate. he doesn’t say it out loud but he likes this side of wonwoo so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>it only takes a single phone call for mingyu to leave a not-so important meeting with an old client under the care of his disgruntled assistant just to zoom halfway across seoul to reach wonwoo’s cramped apartment. mingyu, tailored suit be damned, is now wound up with wonwoo in a tangled mess of limbs underneath the sheets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu supposes in moments like these, it’s easy to get so lost and forget that the entire world is against the both of them. when wonwoo cards his hands through mingyu’s hair, it’s easy to forget that he’s kim mingyu, korea’s top bachelor and conglomerate with 2.3 trillion won worth of assets. when wonwoo wraps an arm across his torso, it’s easy to forget that he’s forty-four but instead, he pretends he’s twenty-four just like wonwoo. when wonwoo kisses him deeply, it’s easy to forget that he still has to figure out what wonwoo means to him and imagine if there is a future for the both of them together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>a foreign movie is playing on wonwoo’s laptop perched on top of mingyu’s abdomen. the plot is fascinating enough but mingyu struggles to keep up, not when wonwoo is doing things to distract him from watching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he turns to wonwoo who is lying sideways next to him, one hand intertwined with mingyu and another draped across mingyu’s trunk. “you told me you wanted to watch this movie so bad.” mingyu says with a small pout. </span>
</p><p>“yeah, that was before.” wonwoo lets out a small giggle he continues to trace patterns on mingyu’s clothed chest. “i  decided i like watching you more.” </p><p>
  <span>mingyu pulls wonwoo closer to him, now he can feel the younger’s hot breaths fanning his neck. wonwoo is warm and his close proximity makes mingyu’s inside churn with fondness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>they stay just like that for a while. mingyu pretends he’s got his full attention to the film when in reality, he’s basking wonwoo’s presence. there is no other place in the world he would want to be right now than in wonwoo’s arms. he knows he can’t indulge himself in something so uncertain but right now, it just feels so right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“mingyu.” wonwoo breaks the silence, voice deep and honeyed. “can i say something? it’s a little crazy but please don’t freak out on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“is everything alright?” mingyu shifts so that he could face wonwoo properly, propping the laptop on the side of the bed. dread begins to fill him as he watches wonwoo’s pinched expression. what could it possibly be? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i think i am falling in love with you, mingyu.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu freezes in his spot. he waits for the punchline to come. for wonwoo to retract what he said and declare that it was all a joke. he waits for a giggle, a slight gesture that would tell him wonwoo did not mean what he said.  however, nothing comes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he looks at wonwoo, who’s staring at him intently with glazed eyes. there is conviction in his tone and in his expression. the slight dread mingyu is feeling earlier is replaced by full on fright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“wonwoo.” it’s all mingyu manages to croak out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>how do you know? how can you say that? how can you fall in love with someone like me? what do you even see me, wonwoo? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he wants to say these things out loud to wonwoo but he can’t as millions questions and thoughts race through mingyu’s mind all at once leaving him tongue tied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“please say something.” wonwoo pleads in a small voice, snapping mingyu out of his thoughts. “please don’t run out on me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo’s crumpled expression makes mingyu’s heart crack. “i won’t wonwoo. it’s just that…” mingyu exhales heavily. “i don’t really know what to say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“it’s alright.” wonwoo quips. “it’s my fault that i just sprung that on you without thinking beforehand but i don’t think i could last another day without telling you how i really feel.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i don’t know if i’m ready yet, wonwoo.” mingyu confesses. truth be told, mingyu wants to get on top of the highest pinnacle and let the whole world know that he too, is in love with jeon wonwoo but the rational part of him knows he can’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he looks at wonwoo--- young, vibrant, intelligent wonwoo, and mingyu knows he doesn’t deserve him. wonwoo deserves the whole world and mingyu, well… he’ll hinder him. mingyu is selfish, jaded, and old. if he permits his own feelings to fester, he might just corrupt wonwoo and that is the last thing in the world he wants for the younger. he wants to give all the best to wonwoo even if it costs mingyu his own happiness. but when wonwoo does things like this, mingyu’s resolve just wants to crumble and give in too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“you don’t have to say anything.” wonwoo places a gentle palm on mingyu’s cheek, a gesture of assurance. “you don’t have to do anything.” mingyu is astounded by wonwoo’s gentleness even in times when he is the one that needs comfort. he really doesn’t deserve wonwoo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu presses their foreheads together. “you deserve so much better, wonwoo. i am so sorry that i can’t give you everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“no, mingyu. even if it takes an eternity for you to be ready, i will wait.” wonwoo breathes out. “whatever we are right now--- it’s more than enough. i just need you here next to me. can you do that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i can.” mingyu promises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo places a soft kiss on mingyu’s lips before he leans his head on mingyu’s chest. mingyu wraps his arms tightly around wonwoo. mingyu can sense the air shift between him and wonwoo--- he doesn’t know if this is a good thing but for sure, things have began to change now that wonwoo’s feelings are out in the open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu does not know what tomorrow will bring. he does not know what the future holds for him and wonwoo. but for now, just for now, holding wonwoo close in his arms is more than enough too. maybe one day, he can gather all the courage not to listen to his demons and instead, he would be able to love wonwoo without inhibitions too. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>wow, after a month, i am back. i wrote this chapter to celebrate the end of my pandemic-induced academic hiatus. i have classes next week and fml. ☹️☹️☹️ that aside i also plan to put out a full fic or a long one-shot. as soon as i finish this collection, i guess. </p><p>so how did you find this chapter? please leave some kudos and comments to let me know what you think. </p><p>see you again soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. malibu nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>here are three things:</p><p>1. wonwoo cannot sleep.<br/>2. mingyu gets drunk.<br/>3. the beach is a beautiful place to kiss.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the chapter title does not really reflect the story but this chapter is for a close friend who likes long walks on the beach at night and pretends he's in lany's malibu nights music video. jdc, this is for you! ilysm!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>wonwoo had been ecstatic with the idea that for once in his college life, he’d be able to sleep in a proper bed. not just the typical fluffy and well-made bed, but a california king-size with a thousand-ish count egyptian cotton sheets. however, for the past hour and a half, all he managed to do is helplessly toss and turn around the bed. it’s as if his body is telling him that he misses the thin and worn-out standard issued mattress back at the dorms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>he sighs with envy as he glances at his best friend, soonyoung, who is passed out cold and snoring heavily next to him. he reaches for his phone on the nightstand to check the time. it’s 11:17 already and his body is nowhere near geared to fall asleep. without much thought, he yanks his away phone from its charger and slips out of the bed as quietly as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>jeonghan’s family is crazy rich, so it’s no surprise when he invited wonwoo and their other friends to a weekend in their own private beach in busan. wonwoo’s secretly glad to be able to enjoy the perks when he has the serene sea all to himself tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>with the sound of the waves lulling him, wonwoo lays with his back on the sand as he gazes at the night sky with awe. the pollution back in seoul is so thick that it’s impossible to see stars at night. now, he just feels like he’s floating in outer space with the multitude of stars painting the night sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo lets his thoughts race freely in his head as a way to pass the time here in the beach. he wonders if his brother, bohyuk, is faring well in high school without wonwoo to be there for him. he remembers the cute calico cat he fed once at the convenience store near his dorm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>his thoughts betray him when kim mingyu suddenly pops in his head, replaying their quick interaction earlier during dinner when the boy passed him a set of chopsticks. it’s silly, wonwoo knows, but the gesture is more than enough to make his heart do backflips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu is a sophomore that wonwoo secretly has eyes on for the past year and a half. he’s quite handsome, tall, intelligent, and he has a charming reputation that won quite a lot of hearts (wonwoo, included) from the student body. in short, mingyu is simply way out of wonwoo’s league for the older boy to ever make a move-- that, and wonwoo’s massive inability to flirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>soonyoung calls it dramatic pining, but even though wonwoo barely gets crumbs from mingyu, he’s happy and contented with admiring from afar. yet, much to wonwoo’s surprise, mingyu is close friends with jeonghan’s boyfriend, seungcheol. thus, explaining his attendance in this weekend escapade reserved for jeonghan’s inner circle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>so far, his interactions with mingyu are scarce and the most was the chopstick incident earlier that his heart won’t let him live down. human as he is, a tiny part of wonwoo hopes he at least gets to level up to the point of making small talk with mingyu in the remaining two days of this getaway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo blinks twice before he registers a figure looming over him. he jolts to sit upright and realizes it’s kim mingyu in flannel pyjamas with a bottle of soju in his right hand smiling down at him. wonwoo pinches the back of his arm to confirm that indeed, he’s awake and mingyu’s appearance is not just a figment of his overactive imagination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“can i join your party of one, wonwoo hyung?” mingyu asks even though he already plops himself down next to wonwoo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“o-of course.” wonwoo becomes a stuttering mess. he’s still unable to process the fact that kim mingyu, in the flesh, just called him by his name and is sitting right next to him. wonwoo’s heart is doing cartwheels with the way mingyu just called him ‘wonwoo hyung’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu offers wonwoo the soju bottle which seems to be half-empty by this point. wonwoo declines politely by shaking his head. luckily, mingyu takes the memo well and gives him a small smile instead before taking a generous sip for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“having trouble sleeping, hyung?” mingyu initiates the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i guess so.” wonwoo replies timidly. “how about you, sleeping problems too?” he hugs his knees close to his chest and rests his cheek on top of them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“nah. seungcheol hyung and i are supposed to go drinking but then, he ditched me last minute in favor of jeonghan hyung. now, they’re off doing god-knows-what in jeonghan hyung’s bedroom.” mingyu finishes off with a petulant pout; an expression that wonwoo finds absolutely adorable on this full-grown man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“well, that sucks.” wonwoo quips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“it’s fine, though.” mingyu says nonchalantly. “you’re here anyways and i bet that you are a better companion than seungcheol hyung even if you’re not drinking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo feels his cheeks and the tips of his ears warm up from mingyu’s offhanded compliment. it’s a good thing they’re out in the dark though, it would be really embarrassing if mingyu sees him blush like a stupid highschooler. </span>
</p><p>wonwoo loses track of time as he engages in deep conversation with mingyu. they talk about university, their respective majors, mingyu’s dogs back home, bohyuk’s antics when he was little, their shared love for photography and cinematography; just basically anything and everything in between. </p><p>in between their flitting conversations, wonwoo is surprised to learn that mingyu is neither stand-offish nor cocky as he initially thought the boy would be. despite the fact that he and mingyu are complete opposites, it’s really easy to slip into conversation with mingyu and get along with him. </p><p>wonwoo finds it endearing to watch mingyu talk about the things he loves with so much passion. he’s also quite attentive whenever it’s wonwoo’s turn to talk and his expressions remind wonwoo of a child sometimes. there is a sense of warmth in mingyu that makes wonwoo feel really comfortable around him. all the more reason for wonwoo to like kim mingyu and his shining personality even more. </p><p>
  <span>“wonwoo hyung.” mingyu calls out softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo turns his head and he’s immediately taken aback with how near mingyu’s face is with his. mingyu’s eyes are half-lidded and drooping but there is an intensity in his gaze as he stares at wonwoo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i just wanted to say you’re really pretty, hyung and i can’t get you out of my head since i properly saw you when we first got here.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo’s eyes widen comically. he certainly did not see this coming. he couldn’t believe it, did kim mingyu just basically confess to him?  “ha-ha. it’s a nice joke, mingyu.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu leans in closer, looking confused and wonwoo is starting to panic inwardly. “why would i lie about that, hyung?” mingyu pouts sadly. “you’re really pretty and it’s driving me crazy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>at this point, mingyu’s face is dangerously near for comfort. time starts slowing down and the sound of the waves are drowned out, their labored breathing taking over everything. wonwoo swears he could almost feel mingyu’s pink plump lips brush against his until--- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hyung, i feel like puking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“what...” before wonwoo could even act, mingyu has already ducked down successfully throwing up on the both of them. “... the fuck?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo cringes strongly as he tries to fight the urge to cry right then and there. not only was his first kiss completely ruined, soonyoung will also totally have wonwoo’s head for spoiling his prized hoodie. he’s considering leaving mingyu on the beach to rot all alone but he knows his conscience would eat him alive. besides, he’s rendered weak when it comes to mingyu, sober and drunk mess altogether.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>without hesitation, wonwoo wipes mingyu’s mouth with the sleeves of soonyoung’s hoodie, his friend’s wrath be damned. he hoists mingyu up and slings the boy’s arm over his own shoulders before dragging both of them back to the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>thankfully, the walk back to the house doesn’t take long. wonwoo can feel his back caving in because mingyu is really heavy. “mingyu, yah.” wonwoo jostles the barely conscious boy awake. “can you tell me where your room is?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“my room?” mingyu erupts into a fit of giggles. “aren’t we going too fast hyung? but it’s okay. my room’s at the end of the hall.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo sighs and drags mingyu all the way to the bedroom. he makes the inebriated boy sit on the toilet of the en-suite bathroom in order for him to at least clean mingyu up before tucking him to bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo thinks of the countless times he’s taken care of drunk soonyoung on multiple occasions in the past; it shouldn’t be too different just because he’ll be doing the same thing with mingyu, right? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“you’re lucky, i like you.” wonwoo grumbles underneath his breath as he slips out of the soiled hoodie, leaving him in his old t-shirt and starts getting to work.  </span>
</p><p>he begins by unbuttoning mingyu’s vomit-stained pyjama top and discards it immediately while he tries his best not to stare at the younger’s naked torso. he grabs an empty glass and fills it with the mouthwash he finds lying on the countertop. thankfully, mingyu is cooperative so he gargles without a fuss. </p><p>
  <span>afterwards, wonwoo grabs a hand towel, washes it with water and soap before he lathers it onto mingyu’s arms and chest so that it wouldn’t smell like vomit at all. wonwoo finishes up by drying mingyu with a warm towel. he considers changing mingyu into a fresh shirt, but he doesn't know where mingyu’s belongings are so he just decides to tuck mingyu properly to his bed so that he won’t freeze to death. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo maneuvers mingyu to his bed before rummaging through the medicine cabinet for painkillers and the bar fridge for a water bottle. when he gets back, he pulls the covers all the way to mingyu’s chin so that he won’t get cold as promised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo doesn’t know what possesses him but he cards his fingers through mingyu’s fringe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>even when he’s asleep, he still manages to look more breathtaking than he is awake</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wonwoo thinks to himself as he studies the boy’s calm features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“wonwoo hyu-ung.” mingyu whimpers as he struggles to peel his eyes open. he takes wonwoo by surprise when he grabs wonwoo’s wrist and strongly tugs the older boy closer to him. this causes wonwoo to land on mingyu’s soft chest with a thud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hyu-ung, i don’t want to sleep alo-one.” mingyu whines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“mingyu, i have to go back to my own room.” wonwoo says as he tries to get off from his awkward position but mingyu is strong enough to just pull him back down again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“stay, please?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu’s chest is firm and warm, it feels heavenly but wonwoo doesn’t want to dwell on it so much. it feels so rude to have thoughts like this in this moment but it wouldn’t hurt to indulge mingyu, wonwoo guesses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>wonwoo sighs in defeat. “alright, move.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu scoots to the other side of the bed as wonwoo lies down to occupy the space, making sure there is a respectable gap between the two of  them. never in his twenty-three years of existence did wonwoo expect to be in this position. hours earlier, he just had a sliver of interaction with his longtime crush and now here he is, one ruined kiss later, platonically sharing a bed with the same person. oh, soonyoung would have a field day when he learns about what has happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>maybe this is just mingyu when he’s drunk; he’s just pure clingy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wonwoo thinks to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>mingyu must have heard wonwoo’s thoughts because he surprises wonwoo again when he drapes an arm across wonwoo and presses his half-naked body closer for a cuddle. “good night, hyung. i will surely have the sweetest dreams.” mingyu whispers to wonwoo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>enough of overthinking, wonwoo just allows himself to be engulfed with mingyu’s warmth. before he knows it, his eyelids grow heavy and mingyu’s soft snores are the last thing he remembers before he drifts off into blissful oblivion. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>little tmi: this drabble is born after one conversation i had with the close friend i mentioned in the beginning notes a couple of months ago. we were talking about beaches and then we started talking about scenarios we would like to happen with our irl crushes, hahahaha. so, i told him i'll turn it into proper fiction so here it is. </p><p>wow, we're almost at the end. one more chapter and this ficlet collection is done. anyway, how did you find this chapter? let me know by dropping comments and/or kudos down below. ALSO, don't forget to support the boys on their upcoming comeback and stream home;run! love you all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 겨우: all my love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mingyu's journey to discovering he's in love with no other than his best friend, wonwoo.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a little bittersweet. it's the conclusion of this ficlet collection. i hope you'll love it the same way you loved the first nine. thank you! </p><p>(also dedicated to my friend, @Aristotle_410)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>i.</p><p>the first time mingyu sees wonwoo in a tuxedo, it has made his breath hitch at the sight before him.</p><p>it’s a beautiful spring day and his older brother, seokjin is getting married to the man of his dreams. the ambiance of the town’s small cathedral is permeated with cheerfulness and romance as they await the entrance of the two grooms. </p><p>mingyu stands on the side of the altar as his brother’s best man. he watches the guests parade down the aisle. he doesn’t know how it happened but as soon as wonwoo walks in, mingyu’s eyes are solely trained on the older boy. </p><p>wonwoo looks like a vision in his deep burgundy tuxedo. he’s not wearing his bulky glasses that always obscured his features and his long fringe is styled up today. for the first time in his sixteen years of existence, mingyu realizes that his wonwoo hyung is so beautiful. </p><p>it isn’t like wonwoo is ugly, mingyu is just not used to seeing this side of him. growing up with the older boy, he has seen wonwoo in his worst-- in ratty threadbare shirts and sweats two sizes too small for him. he has seen him in his usual oversized knitted sweaters and baggy jeans. this is different. it’s an eye-opener.  </p><p>needless to say, mingyu is distracted for the remainder of the ceremony. thank goodness he didn’t have to do much or else, he could’ve made himself a huge fool in front of everyone. so he just stood there, stealing long glances at where his hyung is seated as if he’s trying to ingrain this memory of wonwoo in his head. </p><p>later on during the reception whilst everyone is engrossed in merrymaking, wonwoo walks up to mingyu’s side. “hey, do you want to dance with me?” </p><p>mingyu thinks it’s jamais vu. there is still familiarity in wonwoo as he looks at him but at the same time, it feels like mingyu is seeing him for the first time. he feels like a moth drawn to a flame. wonwoo is a jewel among the mundane crowd and he is just… </p><p>“...so  beautiful.” mingyu accidentally says out loud. </p><p>wonwoo furrows his eyebrows, slightly confused by what mingyu has said. mingyu realizes a tad too late and he wants nothing more than to evaporate from his spot. </p><p>“w-what i meant was the chandelier.” mingyu stammers. “that must be really expensive… and heavy. do you know if they’re made from real crystals, hyung?” </p><p>wonwoo just chuckles and grabs him by the wrist, leading the both of them to the dancefloor. mingyu just lets his hyung do whatever he wants and tries his hardest not to further embarrass himself for the rest of the night. </p><p>ii.</p><p>a few months later, wonwoo catches mingyu with a pack of cigarettes tucked in his uniform’s chest pocket. </p><p>in mingyu’s defense, he has been peer pressured to walk into a convenience store, pretend he’s nineteen (which isn’t hard since be’s extremely tall for his age), and buy the cigarettes. he doesn’t have to smoke. all he needed to do is to succeed in tricking the clerk into selling it to him. </p><p>he has forgotten to throw them out on his way to wonwoo’s house and now his hyung has made him sit down at the edge of the bed while he’s getting lectured. </p><p>wonwoo paces back and forth, livid as mingyu sits there like a kicked puppy. </p><p>“you’re smart, mingyu but this is by far the stupidest thing you have done. what if imo saw this instead of me? she’ll have a heart attack and samcheon will chase you down the street with his fishing rod. if this death stick won’t kill you, i’ll probably do it first.” </p><p>the next thing mingyu knows, wonwoo’s voice begins to fade and the world stops spinning. the golden light filtering through the windows kiss wonwoo’s skin, making him glimmer against the contrast of the dull bedroom. </p><p>he knows that these kinds of stuff only happens in movies, but it seems like it’s just him and wonwoo alone in this very moment. he also knows wonwoo is scolding him to death but instead of growing annoyed, the act made him feel warm and cared for. he’s feeling the same tug he felt for wonwoo during the wedding, except this time it feels stronger but he still can’t figure out what it means. </p><p>“... earth to mingyu.” wonwoo stares down at him, arms folded and condescending. “did you just zone out on me?” </p><p>“i’m sorry, hyung.” mingyu murmured. “it won’t happen again.” </p><p>“you better.” wonwoo scoffed. “or else, i’d be the one to drag you by ear and make you regret you were ever born, kim mingyu. do you understand?” </p><p>“yes, hyung.” </p><p>“good.”</p><p>a few weeks later, wonwoo’s family comes over to have dinner at their home. mingyu learns from wonwoo’s mother that she found a pack of cigarettes lying carelessly on top of his hyung’s study desk. what struck him the most is the fact that instead of ratting him out, wonwoo took the punishment for himself. mingyu feels guilt bloom in his chest because he has been the one to put his hyung in deep trouble. </p><p>mingyu looks over at wonwoo beside him. it’s not fair. it’s his fault but wonwoo is the one who got scolded for it. he’s about to speak up when wonwoo places a reassuring palm over his. </p><p>“it’s okay.” wonwoo mouths to him. “i’m okay.” </p><p>mingyu does not understand why wonwoo is so kind to him. does he deserve wonwoo? he wishes to the stars that he really does. </p><p> </p><p>iii. </p><p>“hyung, how do you know when you’re in love?” </p><p>mingyu asks his brother out of the blue. they’re in the backyard drinking a fresh mug of hot cocoa their mother concocted for the two of them. seokjin came home for the weekend with his husband, namjoon so that they could celebrate mingyu’s seventeenth birthday together as he initially wished. </p><p>“ooh, my little brother is in love.” seokjin coos as he reaches mingyu’s head and ruffles his brother’s hair into a mess. </p><p>“i am not, hyung.” mingyu argues as he straightens out his carefully styled fringe. “my other friend seokmin won’t stop blabbering about it all week when he asked this girl out.”</p><p>technically, it’s not exactly a lie since seokmin did get himself a girlfriend and he can’t shut up about it. however, mingyu has been seeing wonwoo in a different light lately and he needs to figure out what it is. </p><p>wonwoo is first and foremost a good friend. that is his first role in mingyu’s life. then, he’s also an extended part of mingyu’s family. wonwoo is mingyu’s rock, the one he can run to whether he’s happy or feeling under the weather. he trusts wonwoo with his entire heart. </p><p>somewhere along the way, things have shifted for mingyu. he no longer wants wonwoo to be a friend or a sibling, he wants him to be something more. he feels like there is a huge gap within him waiting for wonwoo to complete it. </p><p>“i feel unequipped to have this conversation with you. it’s why namjoon has the doctorate degree for these kinds of things, you know.” seokjin jokes. </p><p>“hyu-ung.” mingyu whines. </p><p>“alright, alright.” seokjin sighs in defeat. </p><p>mingyu scoots closer to his brother and faces him to show he’s interested with what seokjin is about to tell him. </p><p>“honestly gyu, i am terrible when it comes to romance but funny enough, i fell in love with the most amazing person i met my entire life. i don’t know if i can love another stranger the way i love him.” </p><p>as mingyu looks at his brother’s face, he sees seokjin’s eyes glaze with affection and adoration for his husband, namjoon. does he look at wonwoo that way too? </p><p>“i know i am in love with him because he is all that i could ever think about. i am willing to give him the whole world even if it wouldn’t include me, not because i am selfless. love is not a selfless act, mingyu. i am rather selfish because his happiness is also my happiness. i am afraid of losing him because when i am with him, i just feel so complete. with him, i am whole.” </p><p>wonwoo comes over his house later that night. it has been their tradition since they were ten to spend each of their special days together but tonight, it just feels a little different for mingyu. </p><p>it’s almost two in the morning and mingyu can’t find it in himself to sleep, so he watches wonwoo instead. he observes the way wonwoo’s chest rises and falls, the soft snores that escape his slightly parted lips, and the way his lashes fan over his eyelids. mingyu wants to caress his hands through wonwoo’s serene sleeping face. </p><p>an epiphany dawns on him and it fills him with both dread and delight. mingyu realizes that he now knows the answer to his question. he now understands the tug that keeps pulling him to wonwoo. </p><p><br/>
iv.</p><p>mingyu feels like the world’s biggest jerk as of the moment, but he has no other choice but to break chaeyeon’s heart. </p><p>his heart twists at the sight of chaeyeon, looking at him with her doe eyes, wide and expectant. she’s a really lovely girl and mingyu adores her because of that. however, he can’t stand knowing she doesn’t deserve him. not when mingyu’s not being emotionally faithful to her. </p><p>“chae.” mingyu says, his breath a little shaky. “i need to tell you the truth.” </p><p>chaeyeon smiles at him-- or at least she tries to. mingyu can see her eyes becoming glossier by the minute. she knows what’s going to happen next. she’s always been perceptive especially when it comes to mingyu. </p><p>“why does it feel like you’re going to go ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ on me?” she manages to joke but it’s obvious in her tone that she’s barely keeping it together. </p><p>mingyu can feel his heart ache for her. she genuinely likes him and he took advantage of her feelings so that he could run away from his own. the thought makes mingyu sick to his stomach. </p><p>he casts his gaze on the ground and exhales deeply. “you are an amazing girl--- believe me, i am lucky to have met you but this thing between us… it’s not working for me at all. i honestly think you deserve to be with someone who could truly make you happy.”</p><p>mingyu expects chaeyeon to lash at him, be angry, or call him an asshole. he holds his breath as he waits for her to blow up. he deserves it after all he’s put her through but it never comes. in the end, chaeyeon continues to be kind to him. </p><p>“i understand, mingyu.” she says to him calmly. “i’ve always known your heart belongs to someone else but it’s my own fault for allowing myself to hope. yet, i will always be grateful that you gave me a chance.” </p><p>“thank you, chaeyeon and i am really sorry.”</p><p>“it’s alright. i just want you to be happy too.” </p><p>mingyu engulfs chaeyeon in a tight embrace and leaves a soft kiss on top of her head for the last time as her boyfriend. </p><p>“promise me, mingyu that you won’t give up on looking for your own happiness. don’t let it go once you’ve found it, okay?” these are the last words chaeyeon tells him before they part their separate ways. </p><p>a wave of relief washes over mingyu after the whole ordeal. he feels a little sad to have lost an amazing person from his side but it’s better than being selfish and continuing to hurt her. </p><p>in truth, mingyu is trying to forget about his feelings for wonwoo. he initially thought that dating someone else would change the way he feels for his best friend but he’s proven wrong. every moment he spent with chaeyeon made him wish even more that it was wonwoo in her place instead. it’s a lost cause. </p><p>after dropping off chaeyeon to her apartment, mingyu decides to head to wonwoo’s house. he’s going back again to the same person he wants to run away from. isn’t life so unfair? </p><p>“oh, you’re here.” wonwoo gasps in surprise as he opens his bedroom door to mingyu. he notes that he’s wearing the pale blue knit jumper that used to belong to mingyu. it’s a little huge on wonwoo so it looks like it’s about to slip off from his shoulders. the sight makes mingyu’s heart do involuntary backflips. </p><p>mrs. jeon had been kind enough to let mingyu in their home without any questions even though it’s almost ten pm when he showed up at their doorstep. mingyu heads straight to wonwoo’s bedroom and flops himself face-down on the bed, inhaling the older boy’s scent soaked on the sheets.</p><p>“i thought you went on a date?” wonwoo asks mingyu as he sits on the edge of the bed. “how did it go?” </p><p>mingyu groans and flips himself over to face his hyung. “chaeyeon and i broke up.” he replies in a nonchalant tone. </p><p>“oh, gyu.” wonwoo looks at him sadly. he reaches for mingyu’s leg and rubs circles soothingly. “how are you feeling right now?” </p><p>“i’m okay.” mingyu shrugs. “it was a mutual decision, anyway.” </p><p>“you sure?” wonwoo shoots him a pointed look. </p><p>mingyu pouts and nods his head weakly. he tugs wonwoo’s wrist and pulls the older one to lie next to him. “i could use a good cuddle though.” </p><p>“ah, mingyu, i don’t really know what to do with you.” wonwoo chuckles but he obliges the younger one. he wraps an arm around mingyu’s torso and burrows his head on mingyu’s chest.</p><p>mingyu tucks his chin on top of wonwoo’s head, melting in his embrace. wonwoo is mingyu’s world,  he is the reason for his happiness and at the end of the day, he will always choose wonwoo over anyone else. </p><p> </p><p>v.</p><p>strolling around the neighborhood at unholy hours of the night is something mingyu and wonwoo usually does. however, sadness weighs on mingyu knowing that tonight might be their last time doing this. </p><p>wonwoo sensing mingyu’s broodiness, sidles closer to him and playfully nudges mingyu’s side with his elbow. </p><p>“i’ll be leaving in a few hours but you’re spending this time ignoring me instead. how can i leave when you’re being like that?”</p><p>wonwoo is officially leaving for seoul first thing in the morning tomorrow to begin university in a couple of weeks. it’s a new chapter for wonwoo’s life and mingyu is ecstatic for him, he really is but he can’t help feeling dreadful over the whole ordeal. </p><p>“then, don’t leave.” mingyu huffs. </p><p>“you know that i couldn’t do that, gyu.” </p><p>“it won’t be the same, wonwoo hyung.” mingyu whines. “home won’t be the same without you here. it would be hard to talk to you now because you’re so far away. how will i survive my last year of high school without you?” </p><p>mingyu knows he’s being irrational right now but he really can’t wrap his head around the thought of wonwoo leaving. he wants to see wonwoo everyday. he just wants to be close to him all the time. </p><p>wonwoo just laughs and ruffles his hair endearingly. </p><p>“seoul is just a train ride away, mingyu.” wonwoo points out. “i’ll be home for the holidays. you could always facetime me. it can’t be that bad. besides, you’re entering university too next year.”</p><p><em>you don’t understand </em>, mingyu wants to say. wonwoo leaving for seoul is more than mingyu missing hanging out with him all the time. he’s afraid that the distance would force them apart and mingyu would no longer have a place in his life. he’s going to leave mingyu behind without knowing how the younger one truly feels about him. he might find someone else and mingyu will never have the chance. </p><p>it’s breaking his heart to think about it but he has no choice. it is wonwoo’s life and he’s just there to support his best friend all the way through. </p><p>they’re at the last stretch of their stroll as they round up the intersection where their home streets part. wonwoo’s bumping his shoulders against mingyu as they walk. mingyu wishes the road could stretch further so that he has more time with wonwoo. </p><p>“wonwoo.” he calls out. </p><p>wonwoo halts walking and looks back at him with the softest expression on his face. wonwoo’s house is just a couple steps away and mingyu feels like this is it. this is the moment he has to bare his feelings to his hyung or else he’d lose the chance forever. </p><p>the words burn at the tip of his tongue. it’s now or never. </p><p>“i’m in love with you, wonwoo.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>note: all good stories don't have endings and this isn't the end of me writing meanie. 😉😉</p><p>wow, after a couple of months this collection is already done. i suck at writing messages but thank you for all the kudos and good words i have received for the duration of me completing this fic. i also thank mingyu and wonwoo for being my muse in this piece of work. i enjoyed every single bit of it. please look forward to more works from me in the future. </p><p>also, please support my collab with @Aristotle_410 entitled LoveGame and check out his works too. he's another aspiring author with amazing works.  i met him while i was working on this fic. LoveGame is also a meanie fic and we both put so much love on it. </p><p>i can't thank you all enough. see you again soon. </p><p>also, happy birthday xu minghao!</p>
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